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The Brain
09-25-02, 02:21 AM
This dude label's his website the best page in the universe... and Dmmit he may be right... I've never laughed my ass off more than by reading his comments... I think he may be related to grid

Click Here (http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/)

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Here's a personal favorite of mine from his site.
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You're fat and disgusting. Cover Up!! (http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/fat.html)

So I was sitting there the other day enjoying a delicious spotted owl taco when along comes this walrus of a woman wearing a midriff t-shirt, exposing her flabby disgusting lard-filled gut as she lumbered along. I stood up so I could get a clear shot of her because I was about to barf up my lunch, when I suddenly realized that I was surrounded by nasty fat chicks with giant saggy guts. GROSS.

Every time I see another one of these lardass women parading around in some skimpy outfit, it makes me impotent for weeks. I don't get it. Is it part of that whole "acceptance" thing? That stupid mentality that we're all beautiful and that having a gut is cute? Trust me, your gut (and it is a gut, not a "tummy") is not as sexy as you think. It's nauseating. If you don't have the body for it, then why wear a tiny midriff t-shirt that accentuates your bulbous lard sack?

I know it's the trendy thing to go around dressed like Britney Spears because you're all mindless media drones with no opinions or personalities. I know that you all watch Jenny Jones and you have "if you've got it, flaunt it" chiseled into your minds (and I use the word "minds" loosely here because using this word implies that you have some mental capacity). Quit buying this shit. You're not Britney Spears. You're not hot. You're not popular. Nobody cares about your stupid new shirt and it doesn't matter how much you spend on your clothes because you're always going to be the same old boring you, who listens to the same music everyone else listens to because you're insecure and don't have opinions.

Just because looking like trash will help you get laid doesn't mean that you're any less of a vile pig. Cover up. Get some decency. Being able to get laid doesn't mean that you're attractive, and it doesn't mean you should go around showcasing your fatass to people either. There's always someone as horny as you are ugly. Take the hint: they don't make tube tops in extra-large because fat people shouldn't wear them.

BigMark
09-25-02, 02:33 AM
Damn, there goes my halloween Costume idea.

LarryD
09-25-02, 02:52 AM
more cushion for the pushin if you ask me.

Honeygirl
09-25-02, 03:37 AM
Originally posted by LarryD
more cushion for the pushin if you ask me.
:notworthy: :banana: :notworthy: :banana:
I just love this line...well said Mr D. ;)

SilverSurfer
09-25-02, 07:44 AM
Excellent Brain. This reminds me of myself and a page I might make. Here's one of my faves:

Wouldn't it be great if we could
answer people with a kick to the crotch?

http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/say1.jpg


http://www.xmission.com/~maddox/kick1.jpg


Every day I'm bombarded with questions from people I don't know.

"How's it going?"

"Hey what's up?"

"Are you having a good day today?"

"Hey what's new?"

I'm tired of being interrogated by strangers. Why don't they leave me the hell alone? Nobody cares how my day is going, really. If they did, they'd follow up with more than a contrived giggle or a half-assed shrug. I hate the question "how's it going?" How's what going? My day? Shitty. I keep getting harassed by people asking me "how's it going?" Another question that bugs me is "What are you doing?" I could be sitting down at a desk, and it doesn't matter how obvious it is that I'm busy, I still get asked. What the hell does it look like I'm doing? What do they expect me to say?

"Oh, I was just sitting here with my thumb up my ass, waiting for you to ask me what I was doing. In fact, let's just stand here and piss away 3 minutes of our lives talking in unclear ambiguous terms about how our day is, what we did five minutes ago, and what we plan on doing five minutes from now."

I'm not a poor sport. If people want to play mind games with me, then I'm willing to play. Sometimes I'll ask people how it's going, just to see if they have a unique response. So far, I've heard good, great and pretty good. Doesn't anyone tell the truth any more?? Every single one of them: liars . They think they can fool me with their smug grin? They can't. I know better. I know that they're all depressed and miserable.

Regardless, I have to give them credit. They know that they're all going to die some day. So I don't know why everyone's always so happy all the time. Why don't they stop trying to fool themselves and admit that they're having a shitty day, and every other day has been shitty, and every day in the foreseeable future WILL BE SHITTY. Every day is shitty, and there's nothing you can do about it. Even if they do admit that their day is shitty, nobody will care. That's because nobody ever cares. They're all greedy bastards, out to kick you in the crotch the second you blink.

The next time you ask someone how their day is going, expect, no, DEMAND a response. Don't settle for good. Demand the truth. Make them admit that they're having a shitty day, and then do your best to make it worse.

13319 people now limp because they asked me how I was doing.



:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

WilliamJ
09-25-02, 08:00 AM
Funny stuff, can't wait to get home and finish reading this.

NormanNiner
09-25-02, 09:42 AM
This is funny stuff, but Grid is funnier. :D

kshead
09-25-02, 10:00 AM
Originally posted by The Brain

Just because looking like trash will help you get laid doesn't mean that you're any less of a vile pig. Cover up. Get some decency. Being able to get laid doesn't mean that you're attractive, and it doesn't mean you should go around showcasing your fatass to people either. There's always someone as horny as you are ugly. Take the hint: they don't make tube tops in extra-large because fat people shouldn't wear them.

Bless this person. He'd blow a gasket if he took one ride on the METRO. This is something I've just been fascinated by in the three years I've been taking public transportation. Who teaches people how to dress?

Many mornings I just find myself wondering "What the hell is SHE thinking?" when I see some half-naked woman entering or leaving the train. It's not always about fat either, although I see that too. It's about standards - or lack thereof. I'm all for casual dress (hell, I work for the govt), but I am just astonished at what I see. Even really nice looking women can look like a ho-bag if their clothes are too tight or falling off.

Anyway, just glad someone else is out there keeping track. I'll take a sharp dressed woman over a half naked one any day of the week.

hasbeens99
09-25-02, 01:05 PM
Originally posted by kshead

Even really nice looking women can look like a ho-bag if their clothes are too tight or falling off. ... I'll take a sharp dressed woman over a half naked one any day of the week.

LOL! I haven't heard the term 'ho-bag' used since high school! But I'm with ya on the other point. I'd much prefer a sharp dressed lady in a business suit than a half-naked teenager with no bra.

Does that mean I'm getting old? :( :D

Ace13
09-14-05, 01:20 PM
bump... This shit is funny!!!!!

Patti
09-14-05, 07:23 PM
bump... This shit is funny!!!!!
lol... Good bump Ace.