stupid things you've done while drunk

[boo-urns]

Back in my junior year of college there was a house party a guy ,John Berens, who lived in the dorms with us the first year was having a house party. The guy was a hot head type from a small farming town. A few of his buddies from his hometown decided to drive up for the party...one's name was Dallas. We got there, paid our 3 dollars for access to the keg and began drinking. After a few hours it became fun to call Dallas all sorts of different names...such as Houston, Texas, San Antonio, Cuba, Canada, etc. He got pissed and had Berens kick us out. Being heavily intoxicated, I found an unlocked garage in the house next door. I went in and came out with two gallon containers of house paint. My thought was to get even with Beren's and i said i was going to throw the paint on his car. I proceeded to cover a car with paint and then we took off...the funny thing is...Berens didn't have a car...I have no idea whose car I covered with paint that night.

[gutter]

I got pretty stupid last Friday. Ended up punching my kitchen cabinets at 2 in the morning. When that got old, me anf Twig were punchin each othres fists. I woke up the next day with very bruised knuckles and he had a broke finger. That's not the stupidest, just the most recent. I don't remember the REALLY bad ones.

[Fred]

Pissed on my shih-tzu. It was a hot summer night and I had been out bar hopping. I found a nice gentleman to spend some time with and drug home about 5am. I take the dogs out to potty, hurry them up, feed them a milkbone and get ready for bed. The little shih-tzu (who is the sweetest, but dumbest dog in the world) is hotter natured than I am, so she goes back to the bathroom and lays with her little head on the base of the toilet to keep cool. Fred here staggers into the bathroom, whips junior out and lets go. Suddenly, I see the shih-tzu bolt out from behind the toilet. I had missed the bowl and pissed all over her. You've never lived till you have had to give a mad, geriatric shih tzu with an attitude a bath at 5am with a hangover.

[slydevl]

My senior year in high school I went to visit my brother at college. He had a roomate that he hated. This guy was a complete pussy. He had a poster size picture of him and his girlfriend from back home on the wall. We go to some fraternity party and when we go to leave I grab a half full fifth of vodka and start walking out the door. Well some guy sees me and says "Hey! Where you going with that." I say "Up" and chug the thing. When we get back to the dorm we order a pizza. I dont remember how but two pieces ended up stuck to that poster size picture. Next the guy had teddy bear she had given him with her perfume that he smelled every night before he went to bed. I took it in the bathroom and pissed all over it. He also had a stamp collection that I licked everyone and stuck them to the pages of one of his notebooks. Next morning the guy asks my brother if someone spilt beer on his teddy beer. He kinda knew what happened when we burst out laughing. He dropped out of school about two weeks later when he found out his girlfriend had been fucking his best friend.

[Hurricane]

Fred I am laughing my ass off.....I have a 13 year old shih tzu and I can picture perfectly what that bath musta been like for you.... :D

[Fred]

Mine's 14 and can be evil when crossed.

[wossa]

I wish I had all day...

[boo-urns]

New Year's eve...also my junior year of college i'm back in my home town with my high school friends. a couple of guys go out and rent a condo at this luxury golf/ski (seasonal) resort near town. i don't know how it happened but during the party everyone got way too drunk. the condo had a loft that overlooked the living room...the couch in the living room was a sofa sleeper. someone came up with the brilliant idea of jumping off the loft onto the pulled out sleeper. the first up...a 240 pound back up linebacker from the univeristy of michigan. he basically went straight through the sleeper and landed on his feet with springs and other stuff flying and the steel frame being bent to all hell. that set the tone for the rest of the evening. i don't remember it, but they told me i glued the phone down, glued the refrigorator shut, and then i took the hinges off of a locked closet where the family that owned the condo kept person belongings. There was a nicely framed picture of the extended family that i proceeded to remove from the frame and draw mustaches and eyeglass on certain family members...then i returned the picture to its frame. i ended up passing out in a closet. when i woke up the next morning...the extent of the damage was evident...all the furniture had some sort of stain from a mixed drink. and cigarette burns...someone decided to pull up part of the carpet to see what was under it....someone threw the kitchen table over the balcony (we were on the 3rd floor)...mattresses were scattered throughout the place and the linens were all ruined....there were a few piles of puke and the place smelled like alcohal and puke....which is about the worst thing a hung over person could smell. A few weeks later I'm back at college and get a call from the resort's security staff stating they knew who was there and we had $12,000 in damages to pay. One guy who was in the air force took out a loan to pay for it and we all gave him some money...not even close to covering the 12 thousand...he paid for most of it himself...what a guy.

[WYDD]

well two things here for me. 1st and foremost, i had the ULTIMATE PARTY FOUL as it become known now. Back in high school, it was like the last party of my senior year. I decide, hey, let's get the cuervo gold and go to town. Thought my friends would join me, but they decided to drink beer. Well, can't let good cuervo go to waste. Some, i'm piss drunk telling everyone i'm a cave man, and i'm carrying an empty 3 liter of moutain dew (that's my caveman club.) Go to talk to two people that i rarely ever talked to in high school. Well, for the most part, this was a pj (the drink) party. But, the dumbasses who threw the party put the damn cooler on two chairs. Well, as i'm talking to the people, i decide i want to sit down. Grab a chair, and BOOM, you hear the cooler hit the ground, and the sound of pj rushing the deck. I simply walk off, because i'm so shitfaced i thought that was funny. What was funnier though was walking back and seeing some of the drunk asses licking the deck and eating the fruit off the deck. So, yes, that's the ULTIMATE PARTY FOUL.

The second dumb thing i did while drunk was lose my virginity to semifat ugly girl. I guess the good thing is that she started to lose weight and look better after i did her. So, when she was seen after the fact, people told me she wasn't that bad. But, for those who were there that night, i still get ragged for not only doing the ugly girl, but losing my virginity.

[SandMan]

Its been almost 20 years since I did this, but the most stupid thing I ever did drunk... was drive.

[gutter]

Here here Sandman. I cut that out as well.

[LarryD]

i'll refrain from posting about me, but...

one guy i went to college with would drink heavy each night. he was a straight-a student in anthropology, but into the sauce -- big time.

alan (from alabama, we called him "spike") would get trashed and abuse his body. we'd dare him to do different things -- well, not so much dare as simply suggest.

we used to "bobsled" with him down the stairs at the dorm (and onece at the football stadium). he'd lay down on his belly at the top of a staircase and the rider would sit on spike's butt and grab his wrists and pull them up behind spike's back (to use them as handlebars and steer him down the staidcase). one pushoff from the rider and you had a few seconds of fun.

spike's chest was constantly bruised.

and bloody...

one of his other nightime activities would be to smash up all his beer bottles in his bed and bellyflop onto it -- to see how many pieces would stick to him. he had some issues somewhere.

none of that affected his schoolwork though. graduated with honors in less than four years.

crazy.

[Turbo]

I've never been drunk.

Whats the best drink/liqueur to get drunk on? I don't drink beer (see another thread).

[meatpile]

When I was sixteen, I got drunk and decided to leave to goto Florida to become a cocaine dealer.

I rode my moped *with no muffler sounded like a chiansaw* to steal this car, stole it, drove back to my parents house *couldn't drive a stick*, stole things that were easy to grab *books and clothes*, and proceeded to Florida.

I made it to Myrtle Beach, *via I-77, I'd never driven on the highway* and realized that the $9 I had would be insufficient in every manner.

That seems even stupider when i type it and read it.

[LarryD]

that's a good one, meat.

[Captain Morgan]

Alexis Summers, Michelle Page, Brenda Foster, Jill Lucas, and Pam Westra.

[UnaChica]

In San German, Puerto Rico on a saturday night my roomates and I were drinking rum and coke (Bacardi) and playing strip poker.

I lost.

And they dared me to go out on the balcony (it overlooked the town square) and sell my body without a stitch of clothing. It was around 3:00 in the morning and I figured no one was there.

So I did. Screaming at the top of my lungs I sold my body parts to the highest bidder, and there was someone there. One of the homeless men who suffles around looking for a place to sleep. That toothless, unbathed old man offered to buy me. I said OK.

My roomates were horrified and dragged me back into the apartment. Thank goodness we lived lived high up because all night that man was screaming: "Quiero mi mujer!" "Donde esta mi mujer?"

I've never drunk a rum and coke again.

[LarryD]

so, what time are you going to be at dixie's, una? :)

those are some good friends. i know some that would have gone own and played pimp, then taken pictures and posted them on the net.

[NormanNiner]

Originally posted by LarryD
...we used to "bobsled" with him down the stairs at the dorm (and onece at the football stadium). he'd lay down on his belly at the top of a staircase and the rider would sit on spike's butt and grab his wrists and pull them up behind spike's back (to use them as handlebars and steer him down the staidcase). one pushoff from the rider and you had a few seconds of fun.
crazy....

We called that "stair diving" when we did it.

[McFly41]

The weekend the Mall of America opened in Minneapolis, I was in town visiting friends. We went to a bar downtown called Mississippi Live, about six blocks from the Dome.
This place was NUTTS! you go from room to room and every room is a different theme: Comedy club, Head Banger Bar, Lounge, Martini bar, Disco...you get the idea, huge place lots of people.
Anyway, we were in the lounge and as I was ordering my drink I over heard a bachlorette party discussing the items in their scavanger hunt and they were only missing one thing, a pair of mens underwear. I listened for a bit and the bride to be started bragging about this $40 bra she bought...so I negotiated a trade.
I dropped my pants right there and gave her my underwear in a room full of people. My freinds were all on the floor laughing and the bartender was standing there with my next round of drinks waiting for payment. She cheated though, she tookj her bra off inside her shirt and handed it to me.
I went to pay the bartender thinking he was going to have me thrown out, instead he said "Nothing suprises me...but that did! It's on the house."
The sneaky little bride to be ended up wanting her bra back and tricked me into giving it up...well she stole it while checking my tonsils.

[LarryD]

good job, fly!

i'm hoping that someone's story will be posted after march 9. :D

[McFly41]

I will probably have one after St. Pattys Day?LOL!

[chipshot]

See Topic "Dental Question" for a brief explanation of what I did at 4:30 Saturday Morning.

[VOR]

Tried to drive up the long slope at diamond hill ski area in a 57 chevy. got 2/3 the way up and got stuck the verticle drop was too steep to turn around, finally we got the car pushed of the mogol and back down where there was a state cop waiting for us. Got taken to the Lincoln state police barracks. None of them acted like Jim Carey though.

[wossa]

Hope you can stick with it and forgive the many typos I won’t go back and correct. This involves my one and only trip to Ft. Lauderdale for spring break. Sophomore year – my best friend and me decided we would drive to Daytona for Spring Break. No plans, no place to stay, just go. So we make the drive from Boone to Daytona, bong hitting all the way. We get there and it is cold and windy. Plus it is Bike Week. Harley’s everywhere. Not the idea of fun for two horny college boys so what the fuck, Lauderdale isn’t much farther, lets just go there. So we get a case of beer and off we go. All the way there we are slamming beers and playing “bong gammon” which can lead to smoking a shitload of reefer in a short period of type.

Finally we make it to Lauderdale. We have no idea where we are going and we are absolutely shit faced. We finally find a public beach, park, walk out to the sand and pass out. When we wake up, it’s chilly and almost dark. We start driving around town, looking for a place to stay and they are either full or cost way too much. (this was back in olden times when college kids didn’t get credit card offers in the mail).

Not wanting to ruin the night we decide, fuck finding a room, lets go party and find some pretty roommates for the night. We drive down the strip, things are happening. We pull back one row and find a park behind a Burger King. A fence was in front of us. At first worried about getting towed, but of course we say ‘what the fuck, lets get stoned’. We pull out the bong, roll down the windows and start toking. We decide to go ahead and take the MDA we brought with us (for newbies – cross between coke and X – horny, party drug). Anyway, Ken eats his MDA and I’ve done about half of mine – the rest sitting in a baggie on my lap.

I look to my right out the window and see two cops approaching the car – SHIT, SHIT, SHIT – dump the baggie in the floor board, hide the bong and YANK- out the car we go. They find the baggie with some powder still in it – they slam us against the car, hand cuff us with these damn twist tie cable things – hurt like hell and then say they hope we run so they can shoot us. They search the car – find the bong ( but not the pot!). And then start walking us around the corner – to what do we find but the damn police paddy wagon, mobile command center right on the other side of the fence!! There were probably twenty cops right there. This was where they brought all the hooligans they arrested. They laughed and told us they could here us and smell the pot from over the fence! If we had just ridden in from the other direction we would have seen them.

Now the story gets interesting – HAH! The coppers throw us into the bag of the paddy wagon. Its already full we squeeze onto the last seats looking out the little porthole windows. In a few minutes the cops drag some young girl (13? 16?) and throw her up against the bag of the wagon. We now get a bird’s eye view seeing the cops beat this girl because she refuses to tell them who she is, what she was doing, etc. My buddy and I were livid but weren’t exactly in a position to do or say anything about it.

Finally they drive us off – going about 80 mph around town throwing us all over each other – I swear they drove around just to fuck with us. Get to the police station – get thrown into the holding cell with guys that looked real pleased to see two young, blond wide eyed college boys joining the party. We see them drag in the same girl – hog tie her and lay her in the floor – all the while she is screaming and cussing not stop – we want to feel sorry for her but she is starting to get on our nerves. Typical wild ass police station – all kinds of people yelling and cussing at the cops.

We get drug into another room with about six other guys and get to enjoy the “STRIP SEARCH”. I can still here the guy’s monotone voice – “pick up you right foot, pick up your left foot, open your mouth, stick out your tongue, turn around, bend over, spread the cheeks of your ass…” – and it cracks me up – now.

Now we go to another cell – two beds, a metal toilet and a small sink. Me and my buddy and one other guy already in there. He is drunk as hell. He was a local and got busted for drugs too. He said the cells were bugged and he kept “confessing” to stuff and then he would say, “ You got that Bob?” I think the name of the sheriff. They bring us supper – slice of bologna on two pieces of molded, stale bread and a cup of kool-aid. Our drugs were still kicking in so we weren’t hungry and it made for an interesting night.

We sat in there for along time, it seemed like days. The other guy left and it was just us. Finally they move us to another holding cell – had a few bunk beds and about twenty guys, many hard core and looking to fuck with whoever they brought in there. My buddy was pretty big so they didn’t mess with us too much. Anyway we were waiting there to be brought before the magistrate. They call Ken out and he goes before me (I figured we would go together – but no). They call me out about 30 minutes later. I go before the judge, the ADA reads the charges (felony possession of a controlled substance) and this judge just goes off. Starts ranting and raving about how he is sick and tired of college kids coming to FL and doing and selling drugs, tearing everything up, etc. I’m his example for the day. He sets a high bond and I’m remanded into custody. I get back to the holding cell and – great there is Ken – all smiles. GREAT NEWS! He says, my judge questioned why the cops came up to us and searched the car if we weren’t violating any traffic violations. He released me with my own recognizance. So then I tell him what happened to me. The same case – two judges – two opposite results.

In a few minutes they come and get Ken and leave me there – alone with twenty fuckers that want to strip-search me again. Ken now has to go and find a way to get me out of jail. After a couple of hours he finally got some advocate to look at both our cases. She of course was concerned and said she would work on it – but the only way I could get out at that time was to post bond. Now the debate – she was convinced she could get me the same deal – but he may take days. So do I wait or ---- call my Dad to bail me out----

Normally that is a no-brainer – call Dad. The bad thing was – I already had a court date pending in Boone – on two other felony charges - (another long story) and besides we were supposed to be in Daytona, not Ft Lauderdale. But the thought of sitting in jail for days scared the piss out of me – so I sucked it up and called Dad – “fire shitting, raging mad” is the mildest term I can think to describe his demeanor. So He says he will bail me out – but what made it really bad was that about an hour after that “death call” the advocate got me out too so I had made that call for nothing but trouble.

SO now we are out – almost 48 hours after arrival to “fun in the sun”. We hitch/walk miles across town back to burger King.- no car – of course it has been towed. Now we have to walk the other way across town. Get to the lot and it is like $100 to get the car – so of course Ken tries to steal the car off the lot (he did two other times I was with him – it was just the way he always took care of that problem). But we got caught, had to pay the $100 and almost got our asses kicked and arrested again.

So with the $100 bucks we have left (and the bag of pot the cops somehow miss) we decide to go live it up for one night. We go to the liquor store – run into Joe Namath - I asked for his autograph – but after living in jail for two days with no sleep I looked like I was demented – so he refused! LOL!

We rented a cheap ass room just so we can shower and go cruising – We stop in the first bar that looks happening – “The Elbow Room”. Crowded, laughing, smoking, drinking – cool place. Go to the bar, get our beers turn around and decide to check out the women. Where are the women? Apparently we walked into one of the more popular gay bars in town. We decided right there we were doomed. We went back to the room, drank our liquor, smoked our pot and went home the next morning.

Of course we weren’t supposed to leave Florida, but what the hell. A few days after getting back, the advocate called Ken and said the charges had been dropped – No controlled substance had been found – so who knows what the hell we had bought – but in this case we were glad we had been scammed.

And that may friends is what happens to stupid, drunk, college kids on Spring Break. I have many other stupid stories I could tell – perhaps LarryD can give me my own forum.

[Captain Morgan]

Fred: "I blew Chunks once when I was drunk"

Larry: "Oh, everyone has thrown up from drinking too much"

Fred: "No, Chunks is my dog's name"

[Kakia69]

i have a cruise card that allows me to drive through the tollbooth instead of stopping. Well, one night I was so drunk (apparently) that I don't remember driving up to the toll basket, get out of my car, and look on the ground for .50. I did realize what I had done until the next morning when my friend (who was with me the night before) said "you have a cruise card?" as I was taking her to pick up her car. That was when I found out what I had done.

[barracuda]

Punch out a bulletin board at school when my girlfriend was being a bitch. Broke the knuckle of my little finger, which has healed 20 degrees lower. The board did not survive but the cement brick wall did.
:chair: :beer: :badass:

The stupidest, and yet at the same time coolest, thing I have ever done when drunk is fuck the brains out of this HOT HOT HOT high school chick at a frat party one night. The only problem was I did it on the bed of one of the frat guys whom I had never met. He could've been a lot nicer about it than he was, believe it or not, so I was fortunate to leave without having fought about 20 frat guys. Lucky for them.

[Y2Buddy]

The dumb thing I do when I'm drunk is keep on drinking, and then that leads to an even dumber thing, which is to announce to everyone that it's time for a shot of tequila.

[PantherPaul]

When I was a lad of 18 or so a friend of mine got together and drank a fifth of Jim Beam whiskey. I am not a big liquor drinker and we desided to go to a late movie in town. Well we went to see a XXX movie that Linda Lovelace was in. The place was packed. We were sitting there and beofre the movie started the theature started spinning (or at least my part :) ) and all I remember was throwing up like a gyser. I passed out. When I awoke in the theature there wasn't anyone within 5 seats of me in any direction. Was it my breath?

[BigMark]

See thread entitled "I love every last mother fucking one of ya" Now that I look back on it, that was pulitzer quality stuff there.

Originally posted by Y2Buddy
The dumb thing I do when I'm drunk is keep on drinking, and then that leads to an even dumber thing, which is to announce to everyone that it's time for a shot of tequila.

Hell yes! The best is to puke, then drink it off. :o

[gridfaniker]

I put my weiner in a shop vac and turned on the juice. does that qualify as stupid?

[LarryD]

Originally posted by gridfaniker
I put my weiner in a shop vac and turned on the juice. does that qualify as stupid?

did it feel good?

Are you going to try it Larry?

[LPBEAR55]

We had a party at the lake and we were going to charge 50 cent for a beer. Before the party started, me and my bud had drank 60 beers and stacked them into a pyrimid. From that point on all beer was free. I ended up in a only a white sheet out side, drinking Malt Duck wine and beer.

[wolverine]

Went to a graduation party back in 1986. Played strip poker with abunch of girls. When I lost and nothing left to wear I walked out in the party buck assed nekkid and continued to party like nothing had happened!

[cltbuilder]

http://www.thisboardrocks.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4942

[VanillaVirgin]

If I could remember it I would tell ya.

[wossa]

Its the stoopid things I've done while sober that I am much more embarrassed about.

[bunkyboy]

tried to climb the razor wire fence around the airplane graveyard on harris.

[ZooperS]

Left the bar and was driving down HWy 301 in Fayetteville. Got tired so I pulled a cop over by flashing my lights. Asked him if he wanted to drive because I was tired. He did. The MF arrested me. No fuckin' sense of humor at all ..... :mad:

[voyergirl]

some of you on here know i don't drink, well there is a story behind it...............

i was 14 when i took a drink first, my friend was older than i was and she drank a lot. anyway we drank rum and coke(tasted like shit, but she drank so i did too) and we walked across town to go to the high school football game, i was in 9th grade, she was in 11th, so we knew all the other people at the game. hell half the school was there:( anyway we crossed a major highway on foot this i know because she told me. i have no recolection of the night.

at the game i evidently started to remove clothing and her sister had to come get us:(. anyway she didn't tell me i undressed in front of all these people. i found out monday morning at school when this kid Vic brought me my bra in a brown lunch bag. he said i was only bare from the waist up and that he covered me quickly with his jacket. like that was going to make me feel better about myself, at any rate who knows what would have happened if not for Vic having been there. i don't see Vic anymore today, but i often think of how he ever turned out. i always felt bad for turning him down for a date after what he had done for me:( he just wasn't my type.

oh well there it is, after that night i never drank again. scared the shit outa me to have blacked out like that. i will tell ya though i drank on new years this year and i wasn't drunk, but had a great time.

i still choose not to live the drinkers life style...............doing it sober is just better!

[CarolinaBlues]

Which event would you like to hear about?

The funniest thing I ever did was when I was 18 during a visit to Savannah to see my older cousin who loved taking me down to River Street and showing me off to his friends. He had the bartenders spike my beers with vodka shots. After too many of them I puked all over the bar at Spankey's, then stumbled outside and passed out in the back of the pick up I was driving. 3 hours later I woke up, walked back into Spanky's where my cousin was dancing on top of the bar!

No doubt the most idiotic thing I ever did was thinking I could out run the law driving up Peachtree Industrial Blvd. in Atlanta at 2:30am, at 125 mph! I was alluding them too, had it not been for those damn radios! Needless to say, they weren't too happy with me when I tried to get around the road block they had set up. No more Smokey and the Bandit movies for me! That was 17 years ago.

[Freakshow]

Puked in my car

[BearBryant]

NOT TODAY

[Freakshow]

Bought Monster Ballads off of TV

[voyergirl]

i think i need a drink LMAO

i feel the need to do something dumb :D

[gladhatter]

I scaled the wall outside the local county jail to push a reefer through the screen to a buddy who had been locked up.

Summer of 70...didn't have a brain in my head when I was strait either.

...but my buddy thought I was a hero.

[Chip]

I got wasted a wedding reception. When it was time to leave, I took my wife's twin sister home and stranded my wife at the Park Hotel. It took a while to get over that one. Luckily, I was too drunk to try to make a move or else my ass would have been in serious trouble.

[LushBoobs]

Well, I wasn't drunk but I was under the influence -

I was visiting a friend at SDSU and a bunch of us were parked on top of a parking structure. I was going to leave and walk back to the dorms. Apparently, I couldn't figure out how to get down so I started walking it. When I finally made it to level 3 - my friends looked down through the concrete and started rolling - they got my attention and directed me to the nearest set of stairs ;)

yah, well... yah.

[NormanNiner]

Originally posted by Freakshow
Bought Monster Ballads off of TV

God damn that is funny!

[articulatekitten]

Got married. Talk about consequences!

[friend]

yawn

[DaveW]

Originally posted by friend
I suck cock

[SandMan]

Just remembered a few other dumb things I did while drunk:

premature ejaculation - was done before I could say thank you...

puked on the interior cloth door of a buddy's brand new 1983 280z...

[VA49er]

Walked out of my dorm room and entered another room to commence taking a piss. Too bad I wasn't in a bathroom.

[wideopen]

While in New Orleans this past summer ...I took my Boxers off on the balcony and threw down to a chick in the street.. I was naked on Bourbon St.

[homer2k79]

I was at a bachelors party and was outside, I wasn't paying attention as I went to walk inside and walked into the screen door. Now the glass part was open, but the screen was closed. Luckily the screen held me up, but it bent the frame and had to be replaced. It was pretty embarrasing:woohoo:

P.S. I didn't spill my drink :bananalam

[kickazzz2000]

My senior year in high school I went to visit my brother at college. He had a roomate that he hated. This guy was a complete pussy. He had a poster size picture of him and his girlfriend from back home on the wall. We go to some fraternity party and when we go to leave I grab a half full fifth of vodka and start walking out the door. Well some guy sees me and says "Hey! Where you going with that." I say "Up" and chug the thing. When we get back to the dorm we order a pizza. I dont remember how but two pieces ended up stuck to that poster size picture. Next the guy had teddy bear she had given him with her perfume that he smelled every night before he went to bed. I took it in the bathroom and pissed all over it. He also had a stamp collection that I licked everyone and stuck them to the pages of one of his notebooks. Next morning the guy asks my brother if someone spilt beer on his teddy beer. He kinda knew what happened when we burst out laughing. He dropped out of school about two weeks later when he found out his girlfriend had been fucking his best friend.


If true, one of the best stories ever.

[Playa]

not watched the raising of a Stanley Cup banner.

http://images.tsn.ca/images/stories/20060620/rod_11252.jpg

And the division banner.


And the Conference title banner.

7pm on Versus (formerly OLN)

BRISTOL, Connecticut (Ticker) - A banner Opening Night is on tap when the NHL season gets underway on Wednesday.

The Carolina Hurricanes will kick off the league's 89th season in style when they raise their Stanley Cup championship banner prior to squaring off against the Buffalo Sabres. It is a rematch of last year's Eastern Conference finals, which the Hurricanes won at home in Game Seven before dispatching of surprising Edmonton in another seven-game series to capture the Cup.

Two other games will be played on Wednesday, with the Ottawa Senators visiting the rival Toronto Maple Leafs and the Colorado Avalanche hosting the Dallas Stars.

The season opens on a decidedly more upbeat note than a year ago, when the league was coming off a missed season due to the lockout of 2004-05. It also has given teams a full year to adjust to the rule changes aimed at eradicating clutching and grabbing and emphasizing skating and scoring.

Carolina got off to a fast start last season and ran away with the Southeast Division crown, posting a 52-22-8 mark and amassing 112 points to outdistance second-place Tampa Bay by 20 points. But the team hasn't had much first-game success, going just 6-15-5 in season openers.

[The_professor]

http://www.carolinahurricanes.com/images/wallpaper/MyCup800x600.jpg

[The_professor]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1571706239959646320&q=ric+flair&hl=en

[Bondgirl]

Bondgirl.

:smack:

[plutosgirl]

:smack:

:55:

[The_professor]

nascar style doughnuts on park rd near poindexter at 2 AM.

[Black&Blue]

Join TBR.

[marlinfan1]

I got wasted a wedding reception. When it was time to leave, I took my wife's twin sister home and stranded my wife at the Park Hotel. It took a while to get over that one. Luckily, I was too drunk to try to make a move or else my ass would have been in serious trouble.....works when your sister in law is strapping one on!

[sarah430]

My parents had left for most the night and I decided to have a little 'party'. I invited about 10 or 15 people over. My friend had just bought a bong and had some good weed. My other friend went to the store and bought a ton of beer and mike's hard. So, we started to get shit faced.

Everything was going okay and we decided to go into the hot tub. I started macking on these guys who I don't really know. My bathing suit top 'fell off'. I made one of the guys put his hand on my boob for some reason and then started making out with some girl. Meanwhile, one of the guys was sitting in a corner, crying and depressed. My friend proceeded to run her drunk ass all over the house and yell at people that 'bob' was going to kill himself.

I pass out on the couch, my friend gets everybody out of the house, and my parents get home. I had puked allllll over my floor and my friend and I are passed out in my bed. My parents try to talk to me, which goes somewhat like this:
Dad: Did you eat something bad?
Me: mmnoo
Dad: are you feeling sick?
Me: ............mmmmno
Dad: have you been drinking?
Me: mmyes

My friend is trying to get me to shut up, and I start sobbing hysterically about how 'they made me do it' and how everybody takes advantage of me. I literally am wailing and sobbing and screaming and they are just like....

I incriminated myself sooooo much. It was ridiculous.

[gottalaff]

That'll learn you....

[jge1968]

My parents had left for most the night and I decided to have a little 'party'. I invited about 10 or 15 people over. My friend had just bought a bong and had some good weed. My other friend went to the store and bought a ton of beer and mike's hard. So, we started to get shit faced.

Everything was going okay and we decided to go into the hot tub. I started macking on these guys who I don't really know. My bathing suit top 'fell off'. I made one of the guys put his hand on my boob for some reason and then started making out with some girl. Meanwhile, one of the guys was sitting in a corner, crying and depressed. My friend proceeded to run her drunk ass all over the house and yell at people that 'bob' was going to kill himself.

I pass out on the couch, my friend gets everybody out of the house, and my parents get home. I had puked allllll over my floor and my friend and I are passed out in my bed. My parents try to talk to me, which goes somewhat like this:
Dad: Did you eat something bad?
Me: mmnoo
Dad: are you feeling sick?
Me: ............mmmmno
Dad: have you been drinking?
Me: mmyes

My friend is trying to get me to shut up, and I start sobbing hysterically about how 'they made me do it' and how everybody takes advantage of me. I literally am wailing and sobbing and screaming and they are just like....

I incriminated myself sooooo much. It was ridiculous.

Did you have to pay for a rape kit the next day?

[genesis]

I told the bartender one night that I wanted to get really forsnerkered(drunk). They obliged and after many drinks I was ready to go home. I could not walk straight so my sister decided to help me. We got outside and I wanted to sleep in the snowbank because it was "oh so comfy". She told me no and to follow the light. I looked at her and said what light. She said the bright porch light that is lit on your house. Even though my house did indeed have a bright outside light and was only ten feet from the bar I still could not find it. It took her almost a half hour to get me home,convince me that it was my house and that we were not lost.

This one was not me but it is funny. My sister could not climb the stairs into trailer one night. She preceded to call out to me saying "the escalator is going the wrong way help." I tryed to help her up the stairs but she was still convinced that the escalator was going the wrong way and kept sliding back down the stairs. After about five trys to get her in I walked to the side of the trailer where the hitch is with her. She proceded to climb up on the hitch and through my bedroom window just fine. To this day I don't know how she could not get up the stairs but could climb through the window.

[Southern_Yankee]

My parents had left for most the night and I decided to have a little 'party'. I invited about 10 or 15 people over. My friend had just bought a bong and had some good weed. My other friend went to the store and bought a ton of beer and mike's hard. So, we started to get shit faced.

Everything was going okay and we decided to go into the hot tub. I started macking on these guys who I don't really know. My bathing suit top 'fell off'. I made one of the guys put his hand on my boob for some reason and then started making out with some girl. Meanwhile, one of the guys was sitting in a corner, crying and depressed. My friend proceeded to run her drunk ass all over the house and yell at people that 'bob' was going to kill himself.

I pass out on the couch, my friend gets everybody out of the house, and my parents get home. I had puked allllll over my floor and my friend and I are passed out in my bed. My parents try to talk to me, which goes somewhat like this:
Dad: Did you eat something bad?
Me: mmnoo
Dad: are you feeling sick?
Me: ............mmmmno
Dad: have you been drinking?
Me: mmyes

My friend is trying to get me to shut up, and I start sobbing hysterically about how 'they made me do it' and how everybody takes advantage of me. I literally am wailing and sobbing and screaming and they are just like....

I incriminated myself sooooo much. It was ridiculous.

tell us more....

how many guys had run the train on you before you puked all over the floor?
do you like ass to mouth?
did Mike call a doctor after four hours and still being hard?
do you have any pics?
is your mom hot?

[bigpipe]

Nobody here has ever smoked? there are 55 # replies to the stupid things youve done while drunk post...

Youre all drinkers? eh? Hmm... yeah, right.. sure you are.

[quaxmuck73]

Myself:Distracted myself while talking to someone, then I walked into a glass door.Other people:A kid back in high school got fired from Burger King, because he called in on the SECOND day of his job to tell them, "Hey man, Im tired today, can I stay home?".

[melonhead]

Myself:Distracted myself while talking to someone, then I walked into a glass door.

OMG! How did you ever live with yourself after that? :goofy:

[DeeDee]

mnh :(

[Scrappy]

Years ago when I worked at a bank, I noticed a guy I couldn't stand going back to another girl's office. After he left, I was back there talking to her (she was a really nice girl) and asked why he had been back there and what a jerk he was and how he had always run around on his girlfriend (now wife) and how she was way too good for him, etc. etc. Just couldn't stop bashing him until she finally said, "Uh....he's my brother."

:oops:

(Sorry, just realized this thread was about stupid drunk things. I wish I could have blamed this on being drunk. Alas....)

[Playa]

Years ago when I worked at a bank, I noticed a guy I couldn't stand going back to another girl's office. After he left, I was back there talking to her (she was a really nice girl) and asked why he had been back there and what a jerk he was and how he had always run around on his girlfriend (now wife) and how she was way too good for him, etc. etc. Just couldn't stop bashing him until she finally said, "Uh....he's my brother."

:oops:

(Sorry, just realized this thread was about stupid drunk things. I wish I could have blamed this on being drunk. Alas....)
God hates gossipy bitches like you.

[Scrappy]

God hates gossipy bitches like you.

Na--he loves me anyway. He even loves little rays of sunshine like you.:N1sickofmeyet: