View Full Version : Southern Thangs Yankees Should Be Knowin'
A GOOD SOUTH'NER
The average suth'ner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.
The average suth'ner knows pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
The average suth'ner knows what general direction "cattywumpus" and "haunkerjawed" is.
The average suth'ner knows that "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar bowl.
The average suth'ner knows when somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.
The average suth'ner knows how good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.
The average suth'ner knows what, "Well, I Suwannee!" means.
The average suth'ner knows ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits!
The average suth'ner knows a good dog is worth its weight in gold.
The average suth'ner knows real gravy don't come from a store.
The average suth'ner knows when "by and by" is.
The average suth'ner knows how to handle their "pot licker".
The average suth'ner knows the difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".
The average suth'ner knows the differences between a redneck, a good ol boy, and trailer trash.
The average suth'ner knows never to go snipe hunting twice.
The average suth'ner at one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.
The average suth'ner knows to never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
The average suth'ner knows you may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll 'em up past the elbows.
The average suth'ner knows you should never loan your tools,pick-up, or gun to nobody.
The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.
There's a lot of stuff us Yankees don't care about. That last one is the God-honest truth to the world.
now turbo, I'm a yankee by birth. born in harrisburg, Pa but I've lived here most of my adult life and I have never heard of most of those........
whats up with that????
I will give you the last one as fact, and anyone that tells you otherwise is just plain dumb:D
I'm a yankee - born and raised in Michigan. However, when I moved south, I moved to South Carolina. One gets more "southern" there at twice the rate compared to any other southern state.
There - now you know my qualifications for posting this thread. Most of these, however, are things that I've learned about since I moved south.
Also, noticed I said the "average" southerner.
Just wait till Fred reads this - he'll probably add his own list to it.
Originally posted by Turbo
Just wait till Fred reads this - he'll probably add his own list to it. What the.....? Are you saying I am country, a hillbilly, a redneck, a good ole boy or trailer trash? Choose your answer carefully. And yes, I have heard of all of those. I may be dumb, country, mountain or whatever, but at least I have better sense than to move TO South Carolina. That's where you go before you hit hell wide open when purgatory doesn't have a bed available!
Redcoat
03-15-02, 04:28 AM
All I know about the south:
thems black folk under them there hoods. Theys hands is black- just lookie! :eek:
Redcoat
03-15-02, 04:32 AM
Notice also how they are holding hands?
The gay blacks of the south will rise.
Originally posted by Redcoat
Notice also how they are holding hands?
Holding hands? Drink another pot of coffee Red. They have their arms folded.
Redcoat
03-15-02, 04:40 AM
Holding hands? Drink another pot of coffee Red. They have their arms folded.
Put your specs on Magoo......two of them have linked arms & are holding hands.
I am sure one is also wearing a dress.
It's the camera angle dork. :rolleyes: No more fighting now- gotta get back to work. Have a good weekend, holiday, vacation or what-ever-the-hell you limeys call it.
Puttingood
03-15-02, 08:49 AM
Good list Turbo ! Brings back a lot of memories.
So does the pic of the clan. They use to have burnings out on Parks farm outside Kannapolis and we use to hide and watch them get drunk and they usually ended up either getting burned real bad or fighting each other. One time a guys shotgun went off accidently and sprayed birdshot on about 5 people. Next day, they were all saying that they had been attacked by a bunch of well-armed Negros. They even got to believing their own story after a while and started having secret meetings.
The story has evolved and last I heard some were saying that it was a whole army of blacks and commies and Castro and might have been with them. :)
flyfisher
03-15-02, 09:09 AM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Turbo
[B]A GOOD SOUTH'NER
The average suth'ner knows pretty much how many fish make up a mess.
:confused: :confused: :confused:
Huh?
a mess of fish
a mess of beans
a mess of corn
Mess = as much as you need or want
flyfisher
03-15-02, 09:21 AM
;) , thankya, fred.
I was thinkin' meal. Big trout, small trout,small mouth, big small mouth (easy does it, boy).
You haven't been able to get grape nehi for years, at least RC has comeback though. I was missing real cola since they changed coke and pepsi to suit city folk.
BearBryant
03-15-02, 09:58 AM
Originally posted by magnus ver magnusson
There's a lot of stuff us Yankees don't care about. That last one is the God-honest truth to the world.
So thats what wrong with you!:D
MflipsideM
03-15-02, 10:00 AM
Originally posted by Turbo
The average suth'ner knows how to handle their "pot licker".
The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.
I was born and raised (for the most part) in the South, but I don't have a clue what the first one is? Pot Licker? :confused: :confused:
BUT I KNOW THAT SWINGS ARE THE BESTEST!!! :D :D
Captain Morgan
03-15-02, 10:42 AM
Ummm...I think he meant a different kind of swinging, Mflip...
just call me an average sutherner since I know em all.
Imonlyhuman
03-15-02, 12:49 PM
Im a damn yankee or as some call me a g-damned yankee. Ive been here for six years plus the four years I was here back in the early 80's. Ive heard every one of them. I have moved around a lot when I was younger and have learned to adapt to the ways of the people and customs for that area. I have a problem with standing out and looking foolish. I love the customs of the south and when I went back home the first time, people there thought I was strange becouse of some of the things I said or did and even ate. The only thing that gives me away now is my damned yankee accent until I go back home to visit then Im a damned southerner thats to slow with a southern accent. I cant win or lose here. :)
Originally posted by Fred
What the.....? Are you saying I am country, a hillbilly, a redneck, a good ole boy or trailer trash? Choose your answer carefully. And yes, I have heard of all of those. I may be dumb, country, mountain or whatever, but at least I have better sense than to move TO South Carolina. That's where you go before you hit hell wide open when purgatory doesn't have a bed available!
Now Fred, I meant that in a very positive way. You seem to know a lot about the south - its custums, ways, and traditions. I meant nothing else by that comment.
And yes, living in South Carolina DID feel like I was bypassing purgatory straight for hell!! Living in Spartanburg had only one redeeming value - I got to see the Panthers during training camp.
Imonlyhuman.... same goes for me. Everytime I go back and visit the family up north, I get hell for becoming a "redneck". To them, everyone who lives in the south is a redneck. Never mind that the south is full of yankees who have moved south (like myself).
Puttingood
03-15-02, 01:14 PM
If y'all want to mess with your family then take me back with you sometimes. :)
I cussed the whole city of Hoboken, New Jersey out one time and they just laughed. Asked for a Cheerwine on a plane one time and they brought the pilot out to look at me. People up North stare at me for some reason.
A Cheerwine on a plane. That's rich.
Bear, I like it much better than the alternative.
Puttingood
03-15-02, 02:14 PM
A Cheerwine on a plane. That's rich.
It was an old Piedmont Airline turbo prop and the lady said they had dr.pepper so i figured cheerwine was a natural.
Imonlyhuman
03-15-02, 02:20 PM
Hey Puttingood, next year when we go back home for a visit, you are welcome to come along. The town I come from has only 8 stop lights in it and if you fart, everyone knows. It use to be nobody could tell a fart from the skin mills but now they look around for the culprit trying to stink up the town again. Last year when I went back home, I had to drive 50 miles to get to Albany. My sister-n-law told me the traffic was very bad getting there. I got on the road and half way there I asked her where was the traffic? She looked at me funny and said this time of day is very bad. I laughed and told her this is very mild compared to driving at home. She wants to come down this year to visit us. I think she better get some meds for her heart and bring extra inhalers becouse I know she isnt going to survive here. My daughter told me I should start driving like they do in Charlotte and Monroe to show her what they do. I told my daughter there isnt enough traffic to do that. I also drank plenty of tea while I was there and I could see my sis-n-law shudder everytime I put a teaspoon of sugar in my glass with a slice of lemon. So Puttingood, the next time I go back North Ill let you know and maybe you could give me some pointers on how to realy irritate the heck out of everyone there with Southern ways. Anyone else have some pointers, Ill listen.
Kakia69
03-15-02, 02:27 PM
Originally posted by VOR
You haven't been able to get grape nehi for years, ...
Nehi was the best...
they should really bring it back. Fanta just sucks.
Puttingood
03-15-02, 02:27 PM
Anyone else have some pointers, Ill listen.
Can't give any pointers but I will give you some advice.:)
Do everything possible to have them come here. Going North should never be voluntary.
Imonlyhuman
03-15-02, 02:45 PM
Lol Puttingood, we have been trying to get some of my family down here for a long while now. My father did come here in 97 but hightailed it back to New York like a streak of lightening. My step son came down the same year but he loved it. The only reason he did was becouse I lived in an area where he didnt have to go far to get his high or get a girl to get laid. But he ended going back home because he was a naughty boy. My other stepson wants to come here but his wife is afraid of change and refuses to move. I have a sister that wants to live here but I think people here would eat her up in a nano second. She's the type that would go on a snipe hunt a few times before she gets it. I think I already culture shocked them when I went home to visit.
Originally posted by Kakia69
Nehi was the best...
they should really bring it back. Fanta just sucks.
If enough people whine at whoever is bottling RC now maybe they just will bring back nehi and bubbleup. Maybe Squirt too.
(waiting for kakia to relate how much that she could really go for a squirt)
Originally posted by Imonlyhuman
She's the type that would go on a snipe hunt a few times before she gets it. ROTFLMAO! I haven't taken a yankee on a snipe hunt in ages! LOL- Oh man- those were the good old days. :D
Shrapnel
03-15-02, 03:27 PM
Originally posted by Fred
ROTFLMAO! I haven't taken a yankee on a snipe hunt in ages! LOL- Oh man- those were the good old days. :D
Fred, telling the Yankee the snipe is hiding up your ass and telling him to "go fetch it" is not really how the game is played.
Captain Morgan
03-15-02, 03:30 PM
:D :D
they don't get called butt pirates for nothin.
I wouldn't be laughin about it if southern gays wax nostalgic remembering yankee cock I would imagine that carries over to the gals as well.
Originally posted by VOR
I wouldn't be laughin about it if southern gays wax nostalgic remembering yankee cock I would imagine that carries over to the gals as well.
uhhhh, NO!
:p :p :p
Originally posted by celyn
uhhhh, NO!
:p :p :p
Oh could you give us a blow by blow (pardon the pun) comparison as it applies to you?
see previous post
:p :p :p
Originally posted by VOR
I wouldn't be laughin about it if southern gays wax nostalgic remembering yankee cock I would imagine that carries over to the gals as well.
why should that bother me?
I swear you people think about dick too much.
No, really. Why should I give a damn what some neck did to some girl I don't know?
he only ones selling this yankee-redneck rivalry is the south.
shhhhh they might start keepin an eye on their lunch.
twentybelow0
03-09-03, 07:35 AM
http://www.duke.edu/~pms5/humor/south.html
Village Idiot
03-17-03, 09:02 AM
I have an old Marine buddy who lives in Allentown, Pa. I used to go visit and catch an Eagles game at the Vet in Philly. We went to eat breakfast one morning and I ordered livermush :rolleyes: . They suggested scrapple (after looking me up and down), I said ok and it was tasty. Later my friend said that he would never eat scrapple and wondered why I did. I thanked him for stepping in after the fact :rolleyes: . Then I went on to say stuff like "twinty" (twenty dollar bill) and "DEE-triot Lyuns", it did not bother me though (I added a little extra twang for effect). Also, the girls loved my Southern drawl and manners...YES MA'AM!
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