Are you happy with your life?

[LadyJane]

As it is right now? Are there things you'd change if you could? If so, what are they?

[Puttingood]

Are you ? You go first.

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by LadyJane
As it is right now? Are there things you'd change if you could? If so, what are they?

I'm very happy for the most part. Would I change a couple of things? Sure...but I'm not telling what they are. :p

[builder]

With everything but $$$$. I would have more money to be able to do the things I did this weekend on a more regular basis. But I'm working on the money thing.

[WilliamJ]

my life is better than i could hope for, the only thing missing is a good woman.

[WilliamJ]

boy, this string took right off.

[The Brain]

I'd like a better job... I'm cute, smart, have a nice woman... all that is lacking is a job I'd enjoy with decent pay

[gridfaniker]

I'm depressed. Don't know why. I think it's because I worked like a dog around the house all last week. Drank way too much coffee, got very little sleep and now I'm just whipped. Oh well, at least I don't have asphalt shingles on my ball-sack.

[vpkozel]

The only major thing that I would change in my life right now would be my job situation. The one I am currently in is neither challenging nor rewarding (in both a professional and finanical) way. But it is a job that pays the bills - which I am thankful for. It would be pretty cool to move back to Prague, but we are working on that situation, and it will happen eventually. I also need to get back in shape - but I am starting to address that.

Other than that I am an extremely lucky man. My wife, son, and I are all healthy. I love my wife, and she loves me (at least that is what she tells me). Our families are healthy. We have good friends. I have a great house. Looking around and seeing the suffering that goes on in this country, and especially outside of it, I consider myself to be very, very fortunate.

[Fred]

Originally posted by LadyJane
As it is right now? Are there things you'd change if you could? If so, what are they?
basically
yes
too petty to mention.

When I get discouraged, I think of what Helen Keller said; "I have been blessed with so much, that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied."

[kshead]

For starters, I'll say I'm glad I'm not Helen Keller.

I'll go with content. Can't really complain although I'm sure I will anyway.

[DaveW]

I'm very happy but I would be much happier if someone would buy a nice 1998 Honda accord from us.

[SilverSurfer]

Not really.

I'm stuck in a rut, financially, sexually, and career wise. I need a new hobby. All I ever do is stare at this board and the TV, or go somewhere and get drunk. I will probably lose my job in the next few months and then will go insane from boredom.

I think builder hit it on the head, I need more money. I need a new car, but can't afford one. I'd like a new house, but can't afford one. I'd like to be able to travel every week. And if I had lots of money I could have lots of expensive hobbies. I guess what I'm saying is, money can't buy happiness, but it sure can make misery a lot more bearable.

If I don't win the lottery though, I don't see much changing.

Maybe I'm just going through a mid life crisis. I know I've got it better than most people relatively speaking, but that still doesn't keep me from getting depressed.

Most of the time I feel like I just exist instead of live.

Some days are better than others. Mondays suck.

There's my whine for the day.

[Turbo]

Originally posted by Fred
When I get discouraged, I think of what Helen Keller said; "I have been blessed with so much, that I have no time to ponder on that which has been denied."
:applause: :applause: :xyzthumbs :xyzthumbs

[Couz]

In some aspects yes I am happy. It just doesn't seem those are the aspects that are the most important to me.

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Puttingood
Are you ? You go first.

I started asking myself this when Morgan told me last night that I seem unhappy on here. I didn't realize I was coming across that way, in fact it had me quite puzzled when he said that, but it made me start thinking.

No, I'm not really happy, but I can't figure out why. By all accounts I should be--healthy, my family is healthy, I've got a roof over my head and food to eat, but something is missing. I'm thinking I may want to go back to work sooner than I had originally planned.

[gutter]

The important thing is I'm trying to be instead of living a lie.

[SilverSurfer]

Originally posted by LadyJane




No, I'm not really happy, but I can't figure out why. By all accounts I should be--healthy, my family is healthy, I've got a roof over my head and food to eat, but something is missing. I'm thinking I may want to go back to work sooner than I had originally planned.

LJ, you're bored, just like your title says. Working helps, but then you're bored when you get home. At least I am.

I think I need to become an exercise junkie again. I remember back about 10 years ago all I did was workout, read health magazines, and obsess over my weight. At least I wasn't bored.

[magnus]

feeling healthier tends to drive away depression some. Gives purpose, and I do believe there's a correlation between health worries and depression. So, go for it. Even if it's not exercise, change the routine some.

Am I happy? I'd hate to go giving some wishy-washy answer that might fly over somebody but I'm about as happy as I feel I could be under current conditions.

[Puttingood]

Most the time being happy only takes replacing one or two things in your life. I was married for 7 years to my daughters mother and the last two of those were possibly the un-happiest of my life. If I could have made her disappear, I would have. I couldn't pin point exactly what it was making me un-happy but it was there. I had the money and the cars and job and basically could do about what I wanted to. If we had not had a child in our marriage then my ass would have been gone. She finally left me and I boo-hooed for about 4 minutes then started singing "thank God and the greyhound she's gone". It was tough getting a divorce because of the kid but it would have been a lot worse if we stayed together. I promised on that day that I would never get married to some one that could talk ever again. I broke that promise but just barely. I dated a woman that couldn't talk . We dated for a year and I probably would have married her but she got hit by a train one night. Best year of my life. Damn I loved that girl. Anyway, I decided that never again would I stay in any situation where I was not happy mentally and I haven't. It meant moving around and losing some friends and pissing off some family but I am in a position now to be "me" and thats what happiness is all about in my opinion. My wife now doesn't speak to me often, or if she does, I don't hear it. Either way, it works out good.
My point though is that being happy is a hard thing to do and sometimes you have to make your own happiness.

[builder]

Originally posted by Puttingood
My point though is that being happy is a hard thing to do and sometimes you have to make your own happiness.

Not sometimes...all the time. Ultimately, it is you that is responsible for your own happiness. Having others and things around you can make you happy for a little while, but when the newness fades, there's got to be something that you do for yourself that makes you happy.

[Puttingood]

Not sometimes...all the time.

I meant that more of love for your children. I know that most parents will do anything to make their children happy and some live just to make them happy. Some people do it for their animals and there might be a few marriages that are like that but most the time relationships are based on attraction, convienence, and need. The need and attraction disappear and most relationships survive out of convienence.

[meatpile]

Yes I'm happy.

[sadic1]

I'm really happy, but I sometimes have a hard time accepting and feeling like I deserve to be as happy and well-treated as I am, and seem to try sabotage myself from time to time. I can't think of anything I'd change, but I wish my wife would be as much of an asshole as I am sometimes. Even though she really seems to need me, sometimes I wonder if I'm not dragging her down in some spiritual way.

I think there's some wisdom in what Putt says on this subject (though I do have a hard time believing that avoiding communication with one's spouse is the sign of a completely mutually loving and healthy experience). I used to be a hardliner about people staying together if there were kids involved no matter what. Now, I don't feel that way and think that each person needs to find the path they're really meant to follow, and that if one is to truly have faith in God, one must believe that if they find their true place in the world as dictated by Him, that this will ultimately serve as the best example to the kids. Unfortunately, most people, married or divorced, seldom find any truth. More often, it seems they're running away from one bad situation to another bad situation that's meant to make them temporarily feel better about the first, rather than moving toward something positive.

I do think that those of you who think your happiness is bound to financial or other material things are wrong. Dissatisfaction in those things is a symptom of a real emotional and ultimately spiritual problem, the likes of which we've all probably gone thourgh, are going through, or will someday go through. One of the things I see and have been guilty of is overly focusing on one's self and one's own gratification. It's like looking at yourself in the mirror all day. You become increasingly isolated, and that isolation makes it difficult to see and feel the connection between yourself and the rest of the world, and ultimately your connection to God. Without connection to God or whatever term you use for the universal energy, we're very hollow and very ugly, and have every reason to be unhappy.

[gridfaniker]

Originally posted by sadic1
I'm really happy, but I sometimes have a hard time accepting and feeling like I deserve to be as happy and well-treated as I am, and seem to try sabotage myself from time to time. I can't think of anything I'd change, but I wish my wife would be as much of an asshole as I am sometimes. Even though she really seems to need me, sometimes I wonder if I'm not dragging her down in some spiritual way.

I think there's some wisdom in what Putt says on this subject (though I do have a hard time believing that avoiding communication with one's spouse is the sign of a completely mutually loving and healthy experience). I used to be a hardliner about people staying together if there were kids involved no matter what. Now, I don't feel that way and think that each person needs to find the path they're really meant to follow, and that if one is to truly have faith in God, one must believe that if they find their true place in the world as dictated by Him, that this will ultimately serve as the best example to the kids. Unfortunately, most people, married or divorced, seldom find any truth. More often, it seems they're running away from one bad situation to another bad situation that's meant to make them temporarily feel better about the first, rather than moving toward something positive.

I do think that those of you who think your happiness is bound to financial or other material things are wrong. Dissatisfaction in those things is a symptom of a real emotional and ultimately spiritual problem, the likes of which we've all probably gone thourgh, are going through, or will someday go through. One of the things I see and have been guilty of is overly focusing on one's self and one's own gratification. It's like looking at yourself in the mirror all day. You become increasingly isolated, and that isolation makes it difficult to see and feel the connection between yourself and the rest of the world, and ultimately your connection to God. Without connection to God or whatever term you use for the universal energy, we're very hollow and very ugly, and have every reason to be unhappy.

Yeah, but admit it, you're happiest when you got your arm elbow-deep in your wife's poop-shute. While she's giving you head. In the back seat of your vintage '74 LTD station wagon with wood siding. In the middle of a crowded mall parking lot.

[sadic1]

Originally posted by gridfaniker


Yeah, but admit it, you're happiest when you got your arm elbow-deep in your wife's poop-shute. While she's giving you head. In the back seat of your vintage '74 LTD station wagon with wood siding. In the middle of a crowded mall parking lot.

I think that goes without saying...

[Ignatowski]

I'm one happy, smilin' mother fucker.

[Honeygirl]

I was going to do this big, wobbly reply - but it's been said way better by others :). For the most part I'm happy. I'm happy with who I am, my career and where I live. I'm sort of at a bit of a crossroads with some other things in life - but hey - if you don't come up against those crossroads now and then - you're not living right? :)

[SilverSurfer]

I guess I equate happiness with being excited rather than just contentment. Like on a weekend, or when I'm going to a party, or on vacation. I just can't remember periods of extended bliss at anytime in my life. I've never been a very spiritual person, so I always associate happiness with something other than the usual day to day routine. When I think about it though, I also equate unhappiness with boredom. I'm probably bored more than I'm actually down in the dumps. Usually I get depressed when I have to sit in one place most of the time like this past weekend. Weather was too crappy to do anything so I ended up sitting on my ass most of the weekend. When I finally started a new book late Sunday, I wasn't really happy, but I was content.

I also think it's a relative term. If I got thrown in prison for a while, I'd probably look back at my life now, and say, damn, what was wrong with me, I was happy then. There's people starving all over the world, and if most of them looked at my life, they'd say, damn, he's got it made.

But I don't think there's anybody that walks around feeling "happy" all the time. It's really just a generalization.

[muff_spelunker]

I've been happier, I've been sadder. Middle of the road, I guess. But if we didn't get rain sometimes, we wouldn't appreciate the sunshine.

[hasbeen99]

Originally posted by LadyJane
As it is right now?

Inner joy is something I've never been able to grasp for very long. I liken my pursuit of it to Peter Pan chasing his shadow. Once in a while he'd catch it, but soon it would break free again, and he'd have to continue chasing it. I've had moments, even short periods of time when I've really felt... "charmed", I guess. That feeling of really having it all together -- like everything is just clicking.

But for the majority of my life, I've battled depression, insecurity, and a general sense of being both physically and emotionally worn down and worn out. Maybe happiness is much like Silver said -- it comes and goes; no one is able to hold on to it constantly. Those who do are either on strong meds, or we tend to lock them up in padded cells.

If that is true, then the trick is to "catch" happiness as often as you can, and savor it as much as you can. I am doing that more than I used to. Could I do a better job at it? Most definitely.

What I have right now in my life is a growing sense of peace and contentment I've never experienced before. If nothing changed, I could spend the rest of my life just doing what I'm doing, and I'd definitely feel successful. My marriage is strong, my faith is growing, I have some opportunity to use the talents I've been given, and I have a secure job with great pay and benefits. I'm in good relations with my family, and I have friends.

Are there things you'd change if you could? If so, what are they?

Most definitely, but the changes I really want to make are dependent on things outside my control. The least desirable aspect of my life right now is my job. I'm thankful to have it, but I really detest the work itself. It's a painful dilemma to be caught in -- to know what you were made to do, but not have the opportunity to do it for a living. If I was given an opportunity to develop and use my gifts full time (and still make my mortgage payment), I'd jump on it in a heartbeat. The funny thing is my pay would drop, and my hours would increase significantly. I'd work harder and longer than I have in years, but I think I'd be ecstatic. Right now, doing ministry work is the only thing that builds me up and energizes me. Everything else drains me. But I only get a very few opportunities to do ministry work here and there. And most of it, I'm doing here on TBR, if that gives you an idea.

The other thing I'd like to change is how I feel physically. Because of various ailments and large home improvement projects, I've gotten away from the gym lately and I'm really feeling it. I believe in investing my life into the lives of other people, and when you do that, you pay the price. I'm almost always tired. I never feel like I get enough rest. Lately it seems as though I'll never get done all the things I feel I need to do, because for every one I get done, there are three more things that take its place. I do not regret for an instant pouring my life out to help and serve other people. In fact, that's part of what I feel gives my life value. I've gone the selfish route before, and it left me feeling empty. I don't ever want to feel that again. But for me to continue to go above and beyond for other people, I desperately need to get into better shape. I know that as my overall health improves, I will not only feel better, but I'll be more able to fulfill the choices and commitments I've made.

On a side note, if I had to endure the rain that y'all are having to deal with this year, I'd either be leaving (vacation or moving), or praying daily for God to take me. Rain depresses the heck out of me. :(

[vpkozel]

For those of you that aren't familar with it, this has always helped me. It is the serenity prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous - I am reciting form memory, so please forgive me if I butcher it:

Lord, grant me the ability to change those things that I can, and the serenity to accept those things that I cannot - and the wisdom to know the difference.

Now - even if you just leave of the Lord part (in case that ain't your bag), I still think that it is good advice. Also, I think that no one can make you happy, except yourself - so if you are unhappy or if you are looking to be more happy, I think that is the best place to start. Another thing that I have heard of, but never done is to make a list of all the things that make you happy in your life and all the things that make you unhappy. From some people that I have talked to that did this, they were suprised at how trivial or fixable the things that made them unhappy were - and hey even if your unhappy column is big, at least you have a list of things that you can start to change.

I do not mean to imply that anyone else here is incorrect in their thinking or in what they have posted, but I just wanted to post some things that have worked for me. If I can be of any help in any way - please let me know. :)

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by vpkozel


Lord, grant me the ability to change those things that I can, and the serenity to accept those things that I cannot - and the wisdom to know the difference.

you were thinking of the abreviated version but here is the original.

The Serenity Prayer
(full text)

GOD, grant me the serenity

to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the

things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.
Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;

Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this

sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make

all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy

in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next. Amen
Reinhold Neibuhr-1926

[Ignatowski]

Originally posted by vpkozel
I think that no one can make you happy, except yourself - so if you are unhappy or if you are looking to be more happy, I think that is the best place to start.

I believe this to be true. I think happiness comes from within. For me, being happy is a relatively simple thing, an easy thing to obtain.

I think happiness is there for everyone to obtain, and it's not that difficult, but most people think it's difficult so they can't grasp it.

[negoshe8er]

I'm depressed, angry, resentful, sexually frustrated, under educated, under paid, over stressed, financially overwhelmed, and impatient.

But atleast I have my health, two beautiful daughters, and a stay home mom (wife). Who's complaining?

I'm happy that I was miserable enough with work today to log on, read this thread, and realize that instead of allowing anger to control my ability to reason with my reality, I should remember that I do control my own surroundings and that this pissy attitude has got to change before all those terrible influences in paragraph one will change accordingly. Afterall, like it or not I have to support everyone in paragraph two. :rolleyes:

[SilverSurfer]

Originally posted by vpkozel
It is the serenity prayer



Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George's dad kept saying that. :)

http://www.hazeldenbookplace.org/serenitynow/images/logo.jpg

Still, good advice vp. I'm working on my list right now.

[gladhatter]

Originally posted by LadyJane
No, I'm not really happy, but I can't figure out why.
Well...at least you have nice tits. ...and yaint ugly....and yur purty nice. be thankful. Things are ALWAYS better than they COULD be.

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by negoshe8er
I'm happy that I was miserable enough with work today to log on, read this thread, and realize that instead of allowing anger to control my ability to reason with my reality, I should remember that I do control my own surroundings and that this pissy attitude has got to change before all those terrible influences in paragraph one will change accordingly. Afterall, like it or not I have to support everyone in paragraph two. :rolleyes:

You are wise to have realized it, negoshe8er. Stick around...you can take your misery out on us...that'll make you feel better!

[wossa]

right now? no

But I'm happier than I was.

and I'm working on getting things right. Better days ahead...

[VOR]

Quite frankly given my situation I'm tickled pink that I'm not living in a packing crate under the interstate.

[Coops Greatest Fan]

I think as like with most people, there are parts of my life I am happy with and there are parts that I am not. I'm in a job that even though I didn't know it, was made for me. It's been a heck of a year and a half making changes and getting used to the job responsibilities, but some times I feel like I will never get caught up with everything I need to do. I love the kids and enjoy spending time with them and their teachers. I finally found the perfect place to live, but need to get all the way unpacked to fully enjoy it! I could go on and on, but no need to bore you!

[ECILAM]

Considering all I've overcome, I'm better now than I've ever been in my whole life. I'm not nominating myself for any kind of medal, but I've suffered some fairly terrible things emotionally in my life. Men have ended their own lives for less.

But I'm still here with a sinister smirk and a twinkle in my eye. I'm still working to repair my credit that was destroyed by my disastrous "marriage," but I'm making headway, and I'm finally getting somewhere with my writing and illustration. I have everything I really need and some of what I want. Unattained goals include success in my creative ambitions, financial freedom, and that elusive urban legend called "love." But all in all I really can't complain. :)

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Ignatowski


I believe this to be true. I think happiness comes from within. For me, being happy is a relatively simple thing, an easy thing to obtain.

I think happiness is there for everyone to obtain, and it's not that difficult, but most people think it's difficult so they can't grasp it.

I believe that's true too--but I disagree and think that it IS difficult to obtain.

I agree with the statement that it's up to oneself to create one's happiness....it's the actual how to do it that stumps me.

Like I said before, I just feel like something is missing. I'm not miserably unhappy, and I do realize that I have a lot more than a lot of people have.

I think maybe 4 yrs of staying home with the kids has taken its toll, though--sometimes I think my brain is turning to mush. I have been toying with the idea of returning to work, and the more I think about it, the more I think it may be part of the solution.

[WilliamJ]

My happiness is a direct reflection of how connected i am spiritually. If that need is met then everything is copasetic.

[lj4three]

i'm happy. cant complain.

[LarryD]

go back to work, ladyjane.

[Puttingood]

I agree with the statement that it's up to oneself to create one's happiness....it's the actual how to do it that stumps me.

Sometimes it ain't up to you to create it. It is up to you to not let other people un-create it for you.

[lushboobs]

nah... it's been bugging me a lot lately too.

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by LarryD
go back to work, ladyjane.

The wheels are in motion, larry. :)

[QueenCityHillbilly]

I wasn't sure if I'd be happy after I quit that college place several years ago, but damn if I didn't turn out half bad. I'm 23 with 5 years of professional experience in my field, and I'm well networked with media across the East Coast. This early, that's pretty good. I've got a girlfriend who cleans my room, rubs my back, is kind to others, and with the exception of a strip club visit every year or so, pretty much lets me do what I want to. If we were supposed to hang out, but I remembered it was Poker night, she's cool with that. I'm very happy in that regard.

My dad has had two heart attacks, but he's extremely healthy, and his problems have helped me change my lifestyle. Well, at least my diet and excersize. I can't reccomend this enough to anybody who is feeling unhappy. Start working out and watch your body change, you'll immediately feel better.
My mother has MS, but deals very well with it, never affects her mentally. Her attitude against this crazy, weird disease is intoxicating. So my family has their relative health, of which I am thankful for. Now, if I could only find an early 90's Ford Ranger for 2 grand or less, I'd enter utopia.

[sadic1]

Originally posted by LadyJane


The wheels are in motion, larry. :)
I'm speaking out of turn and without any real knowledge of course, but I think that's just going to mask whatever's really bugging you inside with numbing, time-occupying, superficial human contact. Stuff like what you're doing and how much money you have has little to do with how happy you are. Don't get me wrong, those things have plenty to do with how much of a pain in the ass life is at any given time, but hardship and happiness have little to do with each other. It would be a nice, simple world if they did. Is it possible that you're feeling a lack of meaningful connection and communication with your husband?

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by sadic1

I'm speaking out of turn and without any real knowledge of course, but I think that's just going to mask whatever's really bugging you inside with numbing, time-occupying, superficial human contact. Stuff like what you're doing and how much money you have has little to do with how happy you are. Don't get me wrong, those things have plenty to do with how much of a pain in the ass life is at any given time, but hardship and happiness have little to do with each other. It would be a nice, simple world if they did. Is it possible that you're feeling a lack of meaningful connection and communication with your husband?
very intuitive.

[QueenCityHillbilly]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
very intuative. Learn how to spell, you non-intuitive focker.

[VOR]

Originally posted by QueenCityHillbilly
Learn how to spell, you non-intuitive focker.

You dawg tryin to score with misstery.

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by sadic1

I'm speaking out of turn and without any real knowledge of course,

I agree with what a good bit of what sadic said. If you have identified that the problem is definitely that you are not working, then fix that problem and go back to work. But if the problem is actually something else and you are going back to work so that you can be busy and not think about it - that will not make the problem go away. Anyway, if you do go back to work and money is not the issue (it's been 4 years so it seems like y'all are doing OK), then my suggestion would be get a job that you have always wanted to do - even if it is something crazy or something that you aren't qualified for. For God's sake, don't go just get a job in bubicle land just for the sake of having one. And once you settle on the job you really want to do, I would suggest doing it with a small company or a non-profit - somewhere you can make a difference.

But the biggest thing you need to do is figure out WHAT is bothering you. At the risk of being out of line again, I would bet that you know what it is, but you just don't feel like dealing with it. If I am incorrect, I apologize.

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by QueenCityHillbilly
excersize.

Ummm Q - what's that parable about a pot and a kettle?

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by QueenCityHillbilly
Learn how to spell, you non-intuitive focker. How about non-typing focker. I'd like to see you try to type with what I got, Bitch!

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by WilliamJ

very intuitive. happy now?

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
I'd like to see you try to type with what I got, Bitch!

:roflmao:

[QueenCityHillbilly]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
How about non-typing focker. I'd like to see you try to type with what I got, Bitch! What? Do you hang a handicap placquard on your computer when you type?

[QueenCityHillbilly]

Originally posted by vpkozel
Ummm Q - what's that parable about a pot and a kettle? I can't remmber, can you refressh my mined?

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by QueenCityHillbilly
What? Do you hang a handicap placquard on your computer when you type? oh dude.....this is bullshit. if you actually watch what i do for work i'd shove that plaquard up your ass. my job required a little more dexterity than than pushing a little red button on the side of an automated camera.

[QueenCityHillbilly]

Listen here, Knuckles, how the hell can you make fun of Meat having scabs on his unit when you ain't got but two, not even two full fingers.

[VOR]

What I wanna know is howcome all the girls with what willy got are babes, and it didn't work that way for bill?

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by QueenCityHillbilly
. i always thought you were a semi-tolerable punk bitch but by wrecking this fine thread proves it. go hassle some poor sap who's house just burned down or some old lady who's cat just fell out of a tree. that's about all you're good for.

[negoshe8er]

Originally posted by sadic1

I'm speaking out of turn and without any real knowledge of course, but I think that's just going to mask whatever's really bugging you inside with numbing, time-occupying, superficial human contact. Stuff like what you're doing and how much money you have has little to do with how happy you are. Don't get me wrong, those things have plenty to do with how much of a pain in the ass life is at any given time, but hardship and happiness have little to do with each other. It would be a nice, simple world if they did. Is it possible that you're feeling a lack of meaningful connection and communication with your husband?

Awwww there ya go! Change the word husband to spouse and you could be talking with me, or anyone else experiencing discontent. Personally, the lack of superficial human contact since being married 5 years ago is part of my problem. Change has swept through my body and soul like a Texas tornado. Everything that used to fuel my ambition has morphed into hard life responsibilities, obligations, and commitments. Where I used to work for the future, I now slave just to keep up. I used to be socially active in every sense but now I'm withdrawn. I once thought I would plan the introduction of the ideal mate and family into my life around the results of my success. God apparently had other plans. Two kids, a disconnected marriage, and 3 jobs later I seem to be emotionally weaker than originally thought. While money may not be the end all to my happiness, it sure as hell helps sugar coat the bitterness of life's challenges.

[meatpile]

Originally posted by QueenCityHillbilly
Listen here, Knuckles, how the hell can you make fun of Meat having scabs on his unit when you ain't got but two, not even two full fingers.

The shit scares my kid, too.

[LarryD]

Originally posted by meatpile
The shit scares my kid, too.
the stubs or the scabs?

[meatpile]

Originally posted by LarryD

the stubs or the scabs?

How's the great bend?

[Ignatowski]

Any coincidence that most of the people that are saying they are unhappy here are married?

[builder]

Originally posted by Ignatowski
Any coincidence that most of the people that are saying they are unhappy here are married?


Weird...but not really. :confused:

[LarryD]

Originally posted by meatpile
How's the great bend?

it's just a slight hog-leg left. no better. no worse.

at least there's no pain associated with it.

well, other than the initial injury.

[builder]

Originally posted by LarryD


it's just a slight hog-leg left. no better. no worse.


I read that using a penis pump can help to straighten slight to moderate curvature. Maybe you should check out Mr. Kaplan's website. They're FDA approved.

[Meow]

Most definitely!

[LarryD]

Originally posted by builder


I read that using a penis pump can help to straighten slight to moderate curvature. Maybe you should check out Mr. Kaplan's website. They're FDA approved.

mine was caused by scar tissue. it feels like ligaments or something.

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by sadic1

Is it possible that you're feeling a lack of meaningful connection and communication with your husband?

No.

Also, I don't buy for one minute that if you were doing something 24/7 that you didn't really enjoy that you would be happy.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by LarryD


mine was caused by scar tissue. it feels like ligaments or something.


was this before or after kakia?

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by LadyJane


No.

Also, I don't buy for one minute that if you were doing something 24/7 that you didn't really enjoy that you would be happy.

You may just need the creative outlet that working can offer...then again, you may need some adult interaction...ahem, adult live interaction. :)

[LarryD]

Originally posted by DaveW
was this before or after kakia?


way after.

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Stargazer


You may just need the creative outlet that working can offer...then again, you may need some adult interaction...ahem, adult live interaction. :)

This is true--but during the day there aren't any adults around.

[Puttingood]

Maybe you need a divorce. Try that and and get back to me in 3 days.

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by LadyJane


aren't any adults around.

Unfortuately we can't help with that.... ;)

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Puttingood
Maybe you need a divorce. Try that and and get back to me in 3 days.

No, I sure don't. Apparently you think I need one though from the posts you've made in this thread.

[Stargazer]

That's what I mean, LJ...if you got a job, you would have a creative outlet and adult interaction...depending on the job, of course. :)

[Puttingood]

No, I sure don't. Apparently you think I need one though from the posts you've made in this thread.

You asked a question and I answered it was all I done. If you took it that way then I apologize.

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Puttingood
No, I sure don't. Apparently you think I need one though from the posts you've made in this thread.

You asked a question and I answered it was all I done. If you took it that way then I apologize.

Fair enough Putt :)

[Puttingood]

so, you getting the divorce or not?:D

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Stargazer
That's what I mean, LJ...if you got a job, you would have a creative outlet and adult interaction...depending on the job, of course. :)

Gotcha---and I agree :)

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by Puttingood
so, you getting the divorce or not?:D

You'll be the first to know if I do. :)

[sadic1]

Originally posted by LadyJane


No.

Also, I don't buy for one minute that if you were doing something 24/7 that you didn't really enjoy that you would be happy.

I guess I feel like I'd find some form of joy in any shitty thing I had to do. That's how I can enjoy my job. The question one must ask themselves is, "What's wrong with my heart that I can't find true joy in what I'm doing, regardless of what it is?". No matter how "external" any personal issue seems to be, the degree and type of affect it has on us can be traced back to an internal dynamic. I'm not saying it's easy to identify these things within ourselves, but they're there. If you find raising the kid(s) full time unfulfilling, I'd take that as a sign that something inside you is preventing you from fully appreciating the good things inherent in that situation. I think everyone goes through these sorts of things at some point, so please don't think I'm being judgemental. There's a spiritual issue connected to every feeling of negativity.

To take a somewhat related example, Amish people were determined by some researcher to be in general, much happier than the average American, yet their day to day existence is much more difficult. Research and statistics can certainly be misleading, but are they happier because they like busting their asses from sunup to sundown?

[meatpile]

I agree with Sadic. You gotta make lemonade with the shingles that feel like electric needles all over your ass, balls, dick, and inner thigh.

Believe me, that shit isn;t near as funny as I make it. But fuck, what can you do - sit home and cry? Fuck that.

I doubt anybody on their death bed ever thought, 'I didn't feel sorry for myself enough'.

I completely agree with Sadic, and respect him for having the patience to post that, b/c I don't. Anybody who is so unhappy that they are discussing it at length on this board needs to make some serious changes in their outlook on life.

The problem lies within.

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by LadyJane
As it is right now? Are there things you'd change if you could? If so, what are they?

I just figured it all out Lady Jane. you still can't get Sugar Walls
out of your head can you? :D

[DaveW]

Originally posted by vpkozel


I just figured it all out Lady Jane. you still can't get a head inside your Sugar Walls can you? :D

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by meatpile
I agree with Sadic. You gotta make lemonade with the shingles that feel like electric needles all over your ass, balls, dick, and inner thigh.

Believe me, that shit isn;t near as funny as I make it. But fuck, what can you do - sit home and cry? Fuck that.

I doubt anybody on their death bed ever thought, 'I didn't feel sorry for myself enough'.

I completely agree with Sadic, and respect him for having the patience to post that, b/c I don't. Anybody who is so unhappy that they are discussing it at length on this board needs to make some serious changes in their outlook on life.

The problem lies within.

Well now that's the most condescending thing anyone has ever said to me on this board. Congratulations.

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by LadyJane


Well now that's the most condescending thing anyone has ever said to me on this board. Congratulations.

You obviously haven't gotten to dave's post yet.....

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by meatpile
I agree with Sadic. You gotta make lemonade with the shingles that feel like electric needles all over your ass, balls, dick, and inner thigh.

Believe me, that shit isn;t near as funny as I make it. But fuck, what can you do - sit home and cry? Fuck that.

I doubt anybody on their death bed ever thought, 'I didn't feel sorry for myself enough'.

I completely agree with Sadic, and respect him for having the patience to post that, b/c I don't. Anybody who is so unhappy that they are discussing it at length on this board needs to make some serious changes in their outlook on life.

The problem lies within.

If this were true, no one would ever change jobs.

[meatpile]

Originally posted by LadyJane


Well now that's the most condescending thing anyone has ever said to me on this board. Congratulations.

It's condescending that I think your unhappiness is a result of your own self centered outlook on life?

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by vpkozel


You obviously haven't gotten to dave's post yet.....

Oh I saw his---that's just disgusting, but typical of him. I took more offense to Meatpile's reply.

[hasbeen99]

Originally posted by sadic1
To take a somewhat related example, Amish people were determined by some researcher to be in general, much happier than the average American, yet their day to day existence is much more difficult. Research and statistics can certainly be misleading, but are they happier because they like busting their asses from sunup to sundown?

I doubt it. If I had to guess, I'd say they're happier (if they truly are) because their lives are simpler. They don't live the breakneck pace that all of the rest of us seem to fall into. They refuse to. They pay the penalty for that choice, but if the stat you quoted is true, then maybe it's worth the price they're paying. At least to them, anyway. :huh:

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by meatpile


It's condescending that I think your unhappiness is a result of your own self centered outlook on life?

You're so pompous and arrogant that you can't even see how self-centered and condescending you are.

[kshead]

Originally posted by LadyJane


Well now that's the most condescending thing anyone has ever said to me on this board. Congratulations.

I'm just happy to see a comment like this (from anyone) that is not directed at me. Wooooohoooo! :banana:

[meatpile]

Originally posted by LadyJane


You're so pompous and arrogant that you can't even see how self-centered and condescending you are.

Whatever. There's alot of shit that you do, and that you've done on this board that I could pinpoint as examples of why it's obvious to me that you're unhappy.

You make bad decisions for a married woman. You disrespect your family. These are things that you've done, and they're indicative of a much larger problem in your life. If you don't find the root of that problem - then none of the other shit that you change will make a difference. Your unhappiness will follow you through all of these superficial transformations.

This has nothing to do with being pompous. You're the one that started this discussion. I'm tnot yping this in a vindictive manner, I don't have any problem with you. But you've always struck me as someone who is unhappy, and I've always thought these things. This seemed the appropriate thread to state my opinion.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by LadyJane


You're so pompous and arrogant that you can't even see how self-centered and condescending you are.


and he has sewer dick

[LadyJane]

Originally posted by meatpile


Whatever. There's alot of shit that you do, and that you've done on this board that I could pinpoint as examples of why it's obvious to me that you're unhappy.

You make bad decisions for a married woman. You disrespect your family. These are things that you've done, and they're indicative of a much larger problem in your life. If you don't find the root of that problem - then none of the other shit that you change will make a difference. Your unhappiness will follow you through all of these superficial transformations.

This has nothing to do with being pompous. You're the one that started this discussion. I'm tnot yping this in a vindictive manner, I don't have any problem with you. But you've always struck me as someone who is unhappy, and I've always thought these things. This seemed the appropriate thread to state my opinion.


You don't know anything about me, so stop pretending you do. Not vindictive? Ha.

Fuck you meatpile.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by LadyJane
Fuck you meatpile.

[Puttingood]

Let's vote Meatpile off the Board.

[kshead]

Originally posted by DaveW
and you have sewer dick

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Puttingood
Let's vote Meatpile off the Board.


I got a better idea. Lets replace MEatpile with Janelle.

[meatpile]

Originally posted by LadyJane



You don't know anything about me, so stop pretending you do. Not vindictive? Ha.

Fuck you meatpile.

The truth hurts. But you know the shit you've done. And it should hurt. And it should make you unhappy.

[Puttingood]

I got a better idea. Lets replace MEatpile with Janelle.

We would have to be nice to him then.:(

[DaveW]

we would?

[Puttingood]

Meatpile does make a lot of sense. He is very perceptive sometimes. Let's keep him.:)

[Honeygirl]

Originally posted by negoshe8er


Awwww there ya go! Change the word husband to spouse and you could be talking with me, or anyone else experiencing discontent. Personally, the lack of superficial human contact since being married 5 years ago is part of my problem. Change has swept through my body and soul like a Texas tornado. Everything that used to fuel my ambition has morphed into hard life responsibilities, obligations, and commitments. Where I used to work for the future, I now slave just to keep up. I used to be socially active in every sense but now I'm withdrawn. I once thought I would plan the introduction of the ideal mate and family into my life around the results of my success. God apparently had other plans. Two kids, a disconnected marriage, and 3 jobs later I seem to be emotionally weaker than originally thought. While money may not be the end all to my happiness, it sure as hell helps sugar coat the bitterness of life's challenges.
I don't think I've ever seen a more fitting avatar given this post (great movie BTW wasn't it?). Nego - this just guts me as does the other post you made in this thread. Whatever you do don't have a `Falling Down' moment like Mr Douglas :) - stay strong matey - and consider leaving. I know it's easy for me to say - I'm not married and I don't have kids - but life's gotta be better than this.

[HighPoint49er]

Why the hell is there an assault on LadyJane?

[Puttingood]

Why the hell is there an assault on LadyJane?

Point out the assaultee.:mad:

[HighPoint49er]

Originally posted by Puttingood
Why the hell is there an assault on LadyJane?

Point out the assaultee.:mad:

The meat was a bit strong there IMO.

[Patti]

:nopity:

[hasbeen99]

Originally posted by HighPoint49er
The meat was a bit strong there IMO.

I think Meatpile was just doing what he does -- calling it like he sees it. But I do think it's possible he's a little grumpier than usual, and for good reason. :(

[meatpile]

Originally posted by hasbeen99


I think Meatpile was just doing what he does -- calling it like he sees it. But I do think it's possible he's a little grumpier than usual, and for good reason. :(

Yeah - and the title of the thread is indicative of unhappiness. Happy people don't start threads like this.

It's just how I see it - and i'm really not vindictive. If she thinks it, oh well. The original post that I made, agreeing with Sadic, wasn't even directed at her. At all. It was directed towards anyone that might be desperate enough to discuss such an intense topic on a message board. Other people have expressed such sentiments in this thread. But I guess i struck a chord, because she presumed it was directed at her personally.

And i also should point out that this has been my experience. I've created major problems for myself in the past, and taken a major ass whipping for it. I've harmed the ones that I love the most. I've blamed them, or some other situation outside of myself for these problems.

And I was wrong. And nothing changed until I realized that the problem was me.

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by meatpile


I've created major problems for myself in the past, and taken a major ass whipping for it. I've harmed the ones that I love the most. I've blamed them, or some other situation outside of myself for these problems.

And I was wrong. And nothing changed until I realized that the problem was me.

This cuts right to the qucik of man's problem. I bet that 99% of the people in the world have suffered these ill effects from their own doing.

[LarryD]

Originally posted by meatpile
I agree with Sadic. You gotta make lemonade with the shingles that feel like electric needles all over your ass, balls, dick, and inner thigh.

Believe me, that shit isn;t near as funny as I make it. But fuck, what can you do - sit home and cry? Fuck that.

I doubt anybody on their death bed ever thought, 'I didn't feel sorry for myself enough'.

I completely agree with Sadic, and respect him for having the patience to post that, b/c I don't. Anybody who is so unhappy that they are discussing it at length on this board needs to make some serious changes in their outlook on life.

The problem lies within.

not sure i get how this is condescending.

what i read was that, if you're at the point of saying all this to us, you're ready to make a move in a new direction. i say, try the job.

complaining is what you do until you are willing to change. but i don't think you're complaining insomuch as you are feeling out the situation.

honestly, only you know how unhappy you are. and, honestly, only you can do something about it.

[Meow]

Originally posted by LarryD


not sure i get how this is condescending.

what i read was that, if you're at the point of saying all this to us, you're ready to make a move in a new direction. i say, try the job.

complaining is what you do until you are willing to change. but i don't think you're complaining insomuch as you are feeling out the situation.

honestly, only you know how unhappy you are. and, honestly, only you can do something about it.

You're a smart man. :D

[negoshe8er]

Originally posted by sadic1
...There's a spiritual issue connected to every feeling of negativity.

Is this not to say there is a spiritual issue connected to every feeling of happiness as well? I mean, you always hear athletes thanking God for giving them their abilities, or celebrities thanking God for giving them talent, or people who have just received "god gifts" thanking God for delivering the wealth.

Is it a spiritual connection or simply a cliche? And how do you know the difference? JMHO.

[hasbeen99]

Originally posted by negoshe8er
Is it a spiritual connection or simply a cliche?

Can be either.

And how do you know the difference? JMHO.

Most of the time, you can't. You can get some indication if you look at the rest of the person's life, especially their faith, but it's only an indicator, not proof.

[sadic1]

Originally posted by negoshe8er


Is this not to say there is a spiritual issue connected to every feeling of happiness as well? I mean, you always hear athletes thanking God for giving them their abilities, or celebrities thanking God for giving them talent, or people who have just received "god gifts" thanking God for delivering the wealth.

Is it a spiritual connection or simply a cliche? And how do you know the difference? JMHO.

Yes, I believe that joy is reflective of spiritual harmony, and that all states of feeling are ultimately reflective of a spiritual condition. But I define "spiritual" very broadly and don't feel that religion is necessary for a sense of spirituality. For some, religion is a valuable tool for achieving an awareness of their spirit, while for others it seems to be an obstacle. So when I use the word spiritual in the context of this thread, it's like saying that feelings of unhappiness are rooted in an inability to reconcile our deep emotions with the thoughts, assumptions, and expectations we develop over a lifetime. Conversely, the presence of joy is reflective of a feeling that our emotions and thoughts are in harmony with each other, and promotes the sense that we are truly individuals, yet we are integral to a bigger picture. We all know we have feelings and think we know what they are, but really identifying them is much more easily said than done. More often then not, we THINK about what are feelings are or should be, rather than feeling them, so we're essentially unbalanced and spiritually out of whack. Real feelings are sometimes painful and embarrassing, and our minds and lifestyles allow us to avoid them for long periods of time until they manifest themselves in negative behavior or sadness.

That whole football player/public God thanking thing doesn't really play into what I'm talking about.

[VOR]

Originally posted by sadic1


Yes, I believe that joy is reflective of spiritual harmony, and that all states of feeling are ultimately reflective of a spiritual condition. But I define "spiritual" very broadly and don't feel that religion is necessary for a sense of spirituality. For some, religion is a valuable tool for achieving an awareness of their spirit, while for others it seems to be an obstacle. So when I use the word spiritual in the context of this thread, it's like saying that feelings of unhappiness are rooted in an inability to reconcile our deep emotions with the thoughts, assumptions, and expectations we develop over a lifetime. Conversely, the presence of joy is reflective of a feeling that our emotions and thoughts are in harmony with each other, and promotes the sense that we are truly individuals, yet we are integral to a bigger picture. We all know we have feelings and think we know what they are, but really identifying them is much more easily said than done. More often then not, we THINK about what are feelings are or should be, rather than feeling them, so we're essentially unbalanced and spiritually out of whack. Real feelings are sometimes painful and embarrassing, and our minds and lifestyles allow us to avoid them for long periods of time until they manifest themselves in negative behavior or sadness.

That whole football player/public God thanking thing doesn't really play into what I'm talking about.

I think spiritual harmony is simply icing on the cake. you can be feeling great spiriutually but miserable as shit. happiness is purely a physical manifestation. Serenity is spiritual.

[sadic1]

Originally posted by VOR


I think spiritual harmony is simply icing on the cake. you can be feeling great spiriutually but miserable as shit. happiness is purely a physical manifestation. Serenity is spiritual.

I guess I can't seperate happiness from a sense of serenity. If I have the flu, I don;t think of myself as an unhappy person. I'm fucking sick and feel like crap.

[VOR]

Originally posted by sadic1


I guess I can't seperate happiness from a sense of serenity. If I have the flu, I don;t think of myself as an unhappy person. I'm fucking sick and feel like crap.

Yeah well try being not unhappy being fed into a plastic shreader. However even that shouldn't destroy a well formed sense of serenity. maybe

[DaveW]

If I'm hitting the ball straight, I'm happy. ohh yeah, I need beer to be happy also.

[negoshe8er]

:huh:

I think I am in touch with the cause of my unhappiness. My problem is I can't decide whether to make a selfish decision that would break apart the whole for the good of a single part.

[meatpile]

Originally posted by negoshe8er
:huh:

I think I am in touch with the cause of my unhappiness. My problem is I can't decide whether to make a selfish decision that would break apart the whole for the good of a single part.

And to make matters worse, would the selfish decision ACTUALLY make you more happy? Or is it just a fantasy?

I've found that it never does. I'll have an idea that if only i can do or get XXXXXXXXXX, then I'll be satisfied. And then I get it, often at the expense of others, and it doesn;t do what I thought it would.

[Puttingood]

negoshe8er , you getting a divorce too?

[LarryD]

Originally posted by meatpile
And to make matters worse, would the selfish decision ACTUALLY make you more happy? Or is it just a fantasy?

I've found that it never does. I'll have an idea that if only i can do or get XXXXXXXXXX, then I'll be satisfied. And then I get it, often at the expense of others, and it doesn;t do what I thought it would.

wait a minute. i wont get more BJs with a minivan?

[sadic1]

Originally posted by meatpile


And to make matters worse, would the selfish decision ACTUALLY make you more happy? Or is it just a fantasy?

I've found that it never does. I'll have an idea that if only i can do or get XXXXXXXXXX, then I'll be satisfied. And then I get it, often at the expense of others, and it doesn;t do what I thought it would.

This is true for me too, but it's important to determine if one's desire is borne out of selfishness or not. For nego, getting out of a bad marriage may or may not ultimately be the right thing. It may seem selfish because the initial act will alleviate pain and prevent having to go through the pain and work of trying to correct whatever went wrong . But whether leaving is truly selfish or not can be determined only by nego, and only by peeling off the layers off all that has happened since the initial decision to get married down to the initial motivation for doing so. That's why the only good advice anyone can give someone else in matters like this is advice that will help them honestly identify their feelings and motives.

[sadic1]

Originally posted by LarryD


wait a minute. i wont get more BJs with a minivan?

Sorry, Larry. Only your wife can get you more blowjobs. But you will have more space to maneuver.

[meatpile]

Originally posted by LarryD


wait a minute. i wont get more BJs with a minivan?

See the Soccermom thread in the cafe.

[Bootay]

I'm not a big poster in this free-for-all message board, but I can tell you a few things:

1) Meatpile is a good guy, but definitely says WHATEVER is on his mind. And he's pretty damn inciteful and intelligent, and honest. So, you'll often hear things you might not like, but it probably has at least a degree of truth in it. He's also extremely loud, so you can't help but hear him...

2) Happiness in the typical US household is pretty low. Why: raised expectations and feeling disconnected from the world around them. The Amish people may in fact be much happier than the typical American because they live in a world where they can meet their limited expectations and they are personally very connected to the world they live in - they affect their world, have a place in it that is well-defined.

3) Exercise is the answer to 50% of people's unhappiness.

4) I was probably my happiest at the points in my life when I was poorest. It's hard to live in America with under $x, but having 5 times $x is no guarantee of happiness.

Peace out

[Stargazer]

Originally posted by Bootay
I'm not a big poster in this free-for-all message board, but I can tell you a few things:

1) Meatpile is a good guy, but definitely says WHATEVER is on his mind. And he's pretty damn inciteful and intelligent, and honest. So, you'll often hear things you might not like, but it probably has at least a degree of truth in it. He's also extremely loud, so you can't help but hear him...

...

3) Exercise is the answer to 50% of people's unhappiness.

...
Peace out

Bingo (see sig below)

and bingo

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by meatpile


Yeah - and the title of the thread is indicative of unhappiness. Happy people don't start threads like this.

It's just how I see it - and i'm really not vindictive. If she thinks it, oh well. The original post that I made, agreeing with Sadic, wasn't even directed at her. At all. It was directed towards anyone that might be desperate enough to discuss such an intense topic on a message board. Other people have expressed such sentiments in this thread. But I guess i struck a chord, because she presumed it was directed at her personally.

And i also should point out that this has been my experience. I've created major problems for myself in the past, and taken a major ass whipping for it. I've harmed the ones that I love the most. I've blamed them, or some other situation outside of myself for these problems.

And I was wrong. And nothing changed until I realized that the problem was me.

yeah,the title to this thread was a simple "yes" and "no" answer with an elaboration if it seemed fitting,the it turned into an episode of "dawson's creek",analyzing shit that didnt need to be analyzed,it was in place just to air out stuff,not to be judged.

if this is how this thread is supposed to be than ya'll have at it:
i am unhappy,i work long hours,never get to enjoy the money i make because of paying child support and paying bills that my EX left for me to pay,i drive an ugly pick up truck,live in a furnished apartment because i cant afford my own furniture,i scrape money together to pay for the internet so i can hang out on this board(sad huh)!the only time i am truly happy is when i have my kids,hanging with my girlfriend,or driving 6 fuckin hours to be around my family.
there you go,me in a nutshell,sucks to be me,huh?now if you want to rip me apart and tell me what i should do,be my fucking guest!!!!!!

[Patti]

People rip into each other here all the time. Why is this one any different?

[WilliamJ]

the thing is chuck, you have stuff going on, life stuff but you are not an unhappy person.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by Patti
People rip into each other here all the time. Why is this one any different? there are some things that need to be left alone,ripping is fun some of the time,but not all the time;)

[chuckrichey]

when you discuss being happy or unhappy,its therapeutic for some,not to be belittled for airing out things

[Patti]

Originally posted by chuckrichey
there are some things that need to be left alone,ripping is fun some of the time,but not all the time;)

I guess that would depend on who is doing the ripping huh? But you are right somethings would be better left alone but that hasn't ever applied on this board before.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
the thing is chuck, you have stuff going on, life stuff but you are not an unhappy person.

i am wiliam,more than i show,it kills me not being with my kids,not having money to do stuff for them and with them,i have been in this same situation for 17 months and nothing has changed,no matter what i do,nothing changes

[WilliamJ]

meat and sadic had an exchange of ideas and then they were taken to heart then it all unwound from there.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by Patti


I guess that would depend on who is doing the ripping huh? But you are right somethings would be better left alone but that hasn't ever applied on this board before.

it should,we call ourselves a family here at TBR,why cant we act like it.support is all i know from my family,there are times when there is so little support for each other,its really sad

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by chuckrichey


have been in this same situation for 17 months and nothing has changed,no matter what i do,nothing changes

you are still trying to change....seeking that spot in the world where you fit and all is right again....I was there 17 months ago.

I'm on the other side, you have hope. hope goes along way. just find a spiritual link and the puzzle will come together.

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by chuckrichey


it should,we call ourselves a family here at TBR,why cant we act like it.support is all i know from my family,there are times when there is so little support for each other,its really sad

support is also being honest. and more than naught the truth kicks you in the gut and it don't feel good.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
meat and sadic had an exchange of ideas and then they were taken to heart then it all unwound from there.

i know,that is where the problem lies,dont get me wrong here,but the ideas should have never come up in the first place,it was a thread to air out your happiness or unhappiness,no one was looking for the good doctors to analyze their problems

[Patti]

Originally posted by chuckrichey


i know,that is where the problem lies,dont get me wrong here,but the ideas should have never come up in the first place,it was a thread to air out your happiness or unhappiness,no one was looking for the good doctors to analyze their problems

Chuck there have been a LOT of people here that have suffered a lot worse for long periods of time. I'll ask again what makes this one different?

[SilverSurfer]

I think probably everybody here is happy or unhappy with their life in some aspect. Just cause you say you're happy or unhappy here doesn't mean you're weird or anything. We tell each other everything else. I don't really care about people's bodily functions, but I still get to hear about em here.

Happiness is nothing more than a moment in time to me. Just like any other state of mind. Yeah, I feel unhappy sometimes. But sometimes I feel happy.

You just don't walk around in one state of mind all the time, or you're not really normal - IMO.

[WilliamJ]

if you read meat's post, he was talking about how happiness is a direct reflection of spiritual fitness and LadyJane took it to heart then tried to tell him off, it looks like she got hit with some truisms. trust me, if meat didn't care, he wouldn't post it. but that is all a moot point now.

[Patti]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
if you read meat's post, he was talking about how happiness is a direct reflection of spiritual fitness and LadyJane took it to heart then tried to tell him off, it looks like she got hit with some truisms. trust me, if meat didn't care, he wouldn't post it. but that is all a moot point now.

WilliamJ is right. Meat does not get in on the ripping of posters.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by Patti


Chuck there have been a LOT of people here that have suffered a lot worse for long periods of time. I'll ask again what makes this one different?

i just think its time for this so called family to change,thats my opinion,we all want to hang out,have parties,but why would i come to a get together with people who have nothing better to do than judge people!

(Whatever. There's alot of shit that you do, and that you've done on this board that I could pinpoint as examples of why it's obvious to me that you're unhappy.

You make bad decisions for a married woman. You disrespect your family. These are things that you've done, and they're indicative of a much larger problem in your life. If you don't find the root of that problem - then none of the other shit that you change will make a difference. Your unhappiness will follow you through all of these superficial transformations.)

that was uncalled for!!!!!!!!!!!

:mad:

[Patti]

Originally posted by chuckrichey



that was uncalled for!!!!!!!!!!!

:mad:

I've seen much much worse.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by Patti


I've seen much much worse.

what you saw was wrong and so was this!

[Patti]

Originally posted by chuckrichey


what you saw was wrong and so was this!

So chivalry isn't dead, just selective.

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by chuckrichey


what you saw was wrong and so was this!

the judge got judged, plain and simple and if there was no truth in it then it was indeed wrong but i have a hunch there was truth in it. is that wrong? if i am fucking up in a collasal manner that could wreck my life, would i want to be told about it or would i just like everyone to pretend all is well, while i post about my own self-pity?

[Bunky]

dayum, softball this week is going to be a doozie. cuda, ya got to come out. someone call in my umpire.

[WilliamJ]

this is what pisses me off about the world. folks will wallow in self-pity and then moan about it but when they actually might have played a part in their own unhappiness and get called on it. the caller is the bad guy?

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by Patti


So chivalry isn't dead, just selective.


not going there:rolleyes:

[Patti]

Originally posted by Bunky
dayum, softball this week is going to be a doozie. cuda, ya got to come out. someone call in my umpire.

You can always count on bunky for comedy relief! :D

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
this is what pisses me off about the world. folks will wallow in self-pity and then moan about it but when they actually might have played a part in their own unhappiness and get called on it. the caller is the bad guy?


i never said meat was the bad guy,all isaids was that some thing are not meant to be said,thats all.
i will never make anyone seen the point,so i quit

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by Bunky
dayum, softball this week is going to be a doozie. cuda, ya got to come out. someone call in my umpire.

its gonna rain:mad:

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by chuckrichey



i never said meat was the bad guy,all isaids was that some thing are not meant to be said,thats all.
i will never make anyone seen the point,so i quit aight, point taken.

[Bootay]

You can't start a topic on this forum or any other and get pissed about people making open and honest comments back. If you're posting about being unhappy and unfulfilled, and you've made posts over the last few years about your behavior that is relevant, it is a positive thing to be called out on it. Your therapist would do the same, and you'd be paying $150/hr. for that...

That said, I do find it amazing that people spend this much time on-line in message forums. I see one of the biggest factors in people's unhappiness being their interaction with other people. These on-line interactions are extremely shallow, similar to many people's work life - you can name a lot of people you know, but how many of them could you go to in a real time of trouble and count on? TBR is fairly unique in that the people seem to get together regularly, but it still makes me wonder...

[WilliamJ]

Originally posted by Bootay

That said, I do find it amazing that people spend this much time on-line in message forums. I see one of the biggest factors in people's unhappiness being their interaction with other people. These on-line interactions are extremely shallow, similar to many people's work life - you can name a lot of people you know, but how many of them could you go to in a real time of trouble and count on? TBR is fairly unique in that the people seem to get together regularly, but it still makes me wonder...

interesting angle you make....I find this to be a better time killer than TV most nights. When I do however have stuff planned it pretty much takes a back seat. The other thing that makes this board unique is that we have gotten together. Hell there are 4 of us that live within a 5 block radius. I was friends with one of you's before TBR and have enjoyed the relationships I have developed with the others.

How does one define friends??

[Bunky]

in troublin' times such as these it's best to recall the lines of the beatles...

happiness is a warm sammich.

(i think that's how it goes? math?)

[Patti]

Originally posted by Bunky


happiness is a warm sammich.



Or a warm cookie. :)

[VOR]

Originally posted by Patti


Or a warm cookie. :)

hot cookie

[Bunky]

i like warm nookie.

[Bunky]

i do it all for the nookie.

[VOR]

everyone does. some bullshit themselves though

[Bootay]

Originally posted by WilliamJ


interesting angle you make....I find this to be a better time killer than TV most nights. When I do however have stuff planned it pretty much takes a back seat. The other thing that makes this board unique is that we have gotten together. Hell there are 4 of us that live within a 5 block radius. I was friends with one of you's before TBR and have enjoyed the relationships I have developed with the others.

How does one define friends??

Agreed - TBR is definitely a different place than most forums, in many ways, but mostly because people actually meet.

For people in the area: Meat, me, VPKozel, you, and who else?

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by Bootay

who else?

Sly

[Bunky]

If I knew now what I knew then
I'd wonder how not wonder when
There's something going wrong again
With me and mine
It's only ever what it seems
Memories and might have beens
Heaven's scent: the smell of dreams
We'll never find
Tell me... tell me... tell me...


What are you going to do with your life?
What are you going to do with your life?
What are you going to do?
What are you going to be?
What am I going to do?
I'm going to be me be me be me


If I could see what you can see
The sun still shining out of me
I'd be the boy I used to be
When love was blind
I'd let the light back in again
And walk you to the tunnel's end
I'll be yours and maybe then
You'll be mine
Tell me... tell me... tell me...


I will if you will... follow me down

[LarryD]

Originally posted by WilliamJ
the judge got judged, plain and simple and if there was no truth in it then it was indeed wrong but i have a hunch there was truth in it.

well, i for one don't get the accusations of how she disrespected her family and the bad stuff that she's done to folks on the board. that's what's got me bumfuzzled. seemed to come out of left-field.

but she was pissed off at meat way before meat posted that.

i still say his first post was innocuous and helpful advice, but she called it the most condescending thing anyone's ever said to her here.

[magnus]

I didn't catch the disrespect toward family and marriage and all that, either. I'm not sure, if I were her, I'd want to go back into it.
Kinda miss the Agent, too.

[SandMan]

Originally posted by LadyJane
As it is right now? Are there things you'd change if you could? If so, what are they?

Wow, this thread got huge before I even noticed LJ. This is a good question...

I would say most of my life, I would not change. I have a wife that tolerates me (16 years almost), a pretty good sex life with her too. I have 2 beautiful daughters, 9 & 6 that love sports and play in leagues. I get to coach their teams. I have a career that I would not trade for any other career - I get to work from home and manage my own time/budget for work.

But is everything perfect? No its not. I'm almost 40 now and I'm back to about 30lbs heavier than I should be, I'm not physically fit and I always was up until my very early 30's. So in a nutshell, if I could change anything, it would be that I stop the back and forth with weight loss and get my ass back in shape.

Sure, I'd like a million bucks, a 4000 sq ft house, and my kids college already payed for, but I tend not to dwell on things that are not in my immediate control, things I know take most good hearted americans good hard work to achieve.

[chuckrichey]

Originally posted by magnus
I didn't catch the disrespect toward family and marriage and all that, either. I'm not sure, if I were her, I'd want to go back into it.
Kinda miss the Agent, too.


and he and ladyjane WERE to be at the get together on the 5th too:(

[TimTam]

so i put a lot of thought into this and so now I answer deep into the conversation. I think that if I could stop looking at the trees and see the forest I would be a happy person. I don't really have anything to be sad about. My family is healthy, I am healthy, I have a wonderful girlfriend but I feel overwhelmed having just graduated college and now trying to get into the film industry. I feel alone because my friends are atleast 500 miles away and my best friend is 2000 miles away. I am stuck reforming a friendship that I neglected for 2 years (my fault I accept that).
I feel I don't really fit into a place. In my career I feel I am marginally good at lots of things but not outstanding in anything...not enough to get a steady job. I look at working freelance indefinitely and I am scared. I want to move to DC but there arent any jobs. I feel pressured to be able to perform because I just graduated. My school showed us how to load cameras, tell stories visually, and edit it to look great. When we graduated they told us go get jobs. Playing the Hollywood game wasnt included in the major. Everyone has their take on it and every small decision seems like my entire possibility of being a director rests on that small decision (ie. I take the job in DC I end up editing at lo budget music videos for life but if I take the job in Charlotte it will lead me to a 3 picture deal with Miramax). I am terrified of failure almost to the point of inactivity.
Working only freelance has left my uncertainty of $$ at a crippling state. I never know when I will get money again so I can't spend on anything. Having just left school this is horrifying. I understand the concept of saving and that I cant do but 1/24th as much as I used to but this leads me to an indefinte span of time of life that is utter hell.
But on the upside when placed in perspective and thinking realisically I know that everything is fine and I shouldnt be so worried. So in general yes I am happy when I look at the big picture but on a microscopic level I am confused and scared.

[Yuck]

I skipped this thread because I assumed it was all sappy and shit. Shows how much I know.

[LarryD]

Originally posted by TimTam
so i put a lot of thought into this and so now I answer deep into the conversation. I think that if I could stop looking at the trees and see the forest I would be a happy person. I don't really have anything to be sad about. My family is healthy, I am healthy, I have a wonderful girlfriend but I feel overwhelmed having just graduated college and now trying to get into the film industry. I feel alone because my friends are atleast 500 miles away and my best friend is 2000 miles away. I am stuck reforming a friendship that I neglected for 2 years (my fault I accept that).
I feel I don't really fit into a place. In my career I feel I am marginally good at lots of things but not outstanding in anything...not enough to get a steady job. I look at working freelance indefinitely and I am scared. I want to move to DC but there arent any jobs. I feel pressured to be able to perform because I just graduated. My school showed us how to load cameras, tell stories visually, and edit it to look great. When we graduated they told us go get jobs. Playing the Hollywood game wasnt included in the major. Everyone has their take on it and every small decision seems like my entire possibility of being a director rests on that small decision (ie. I take the job in DC I end up editing at lo budget music videos for life but if I take the job in Charlotte it will lead me to a 3 picture deal with Miramax). I am terrified of failure almost to the point of inactivity.
Working only freelance has left my uncertainty of $$ at a crippling state. I never know when I will get money again so I can't spend on anything. Having just left school this is horrifying. I understand the concept of saving and that I cant do but 1/24th as much as I used to but this leads me to an indefinte span of time of life that is utter hell.
But on the upside when placed in perspective and thinking realisically I know that everything is fine and I shouldnt be so worried. So in general yes I am happy when I look at the big picture but on a microscopic level I am confused and scared.

i would love to be in your position.

don't get to be 33 and say the same shit.

just start doing something -- anything. you're young.

[hasbeen99]

If I was in your position, I'd be terrified. Probably why I feel like I'm stuck in a job that pays well, but is not what I want to do. It's a trade off, and the risks of pursuing a career in what you love to do can be high. But I hear the payoff if you make it is well worth it. :D Good luck in whatever you decide.

[vpkozel]

Originally posted by hasbeen99
If I was in your position, I'd be terrified. Probably why I feel like I'm stuck in a job that pays well, but is not what I want to do. It's a trade off, and the risks of pursuing a career in what you love to do can be high. But I hear the payoff if you make it is well worth it. :D Good luck in whatever you decide.

When you are young is the time to take chances and be terrified. Cause you won't be taking them when you have a wife, then a kid.

[hasbeen99]

Originally posted by vpkozel
When you are young is the time to take chances and be terrified. Cause you won't be taking them when you have a wife, then a kid.

...and a mortgage.

[Chief Tony]

I have been truly blessed in my life.I had a wonderful career in the USAF and made many,many lifelong friends..I earned my law degree while still in and worked the last 5 years of my career in the JAG office.I retired after 30 years and then worked for 6 years as an attorney.I now spend my days buying and selling stocks online,when I'm not tinkering with my van or camaro.I was married to a great woman for 17 years before she passed away in 1987.I have been married to my current wife for 14 years now.I am the proud father of 2 great kids.My son is in his second year of medical school,following in his step-moms footsteps.My daughter is in her 3rd year of college.I am very happy with my life now. Would I change anything? Yes I would,during the early part of my military life I was much too hard on those under me.I had one young airman who killed himself and I have always believed it was because I was so hard on him.That was 30 years ago and I still feel responsible.I try to be much more mellow now.I know many of you are saying.no not you!

[builder]

complaining is what you do until you are willing to change. but i don't think you're complaining insomuch as you are feeling out the situation..

Fuck if I don't know all about that. I spent the past year, living with a guy that respected me about as much as the dirt he walked on. He cheated, he lied, and he basically made my life a living hell. And I complained nonstop to friends and strangers and it made no difference. Finally, I wised up and got him out of my life. Things are a lot better for me now. I was so afraid of being alone or wrong that I wasn't willing to take the chance that I might just be right about it. I smile everyday now. People marvel at how they have the old me back. It's a great feeling. And I could blame him for all of it if I wanted to, but I was the one that let all the shit happen after the first time I knew he had cheated on me. I was the one that let him keep doing what he was doing because I fucking loved him. Fuck that. Take responsibility for yourself cause in this world, no one else will.

[Chief Tony]

Fuck if I don't know all about that. I spent the past year, living with a guy that respected me about as much as the dirt he walked on. He cheated, he lied, and he basically made my life a living hell. And I complained nonstop to friends and strangers and it made no difference. Finally, I wised up and got him out of my life. Things are a lot better for me now. I was so afraid of being alone or wrong that I wasn't willing to take the chance that I might just be right about it. I smile everyday now. People marvel at how they have the old me back. It's a great feeling. And I could blame him for all of it if I wanted to, but I was the one that let all the shit happen after the first time I knew he had cheated on me. I was the one that let him keep doing what he was doing because I fucking loved him. Fuck that. Take responsibility for yourself cause in this world, no one else will.
Very well said Builder.Glad you got over the guy.It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight,they're are assholes(no pup intended) on both sides.Glad you happy.

[voyergirl]

i am happy i can say cunt here.




i cannot believe i missed this thread in june....i heard about it but never actually read it.

[jazzbluescat]

Are you happy with your life?

Yep, for the most part. At least I'm no longer disappointed.
It seemed to change when I accepted my music as a gift from God, or at least I realized that He gave me the desire to pursue music, rather than a lone, ego-driven pursuit. I can accept success and failure as part of life and not become ecstatic and/or depressed about whatever happens.

:xyzthumbs

[Playa]

After reading all of this shit, yes

[jazzbluescat]

After reading all of this shit, yes


I haven't read all the posts. But, what part of my post do you consider shit? :thinking:

[Playa]

I wasnt refering to yours, and I was just kidding anway. Some people said some depressing shit

[crazydave]

How can you be happy Playa, your black. I thought you were pissed off about the white man oppressing you or something like that, at least thats what I saw on BET. Ive never actually talked to a black man, so Im not sure.SOuthern_Yankee?

[voyergirl]

deep in southern yankee

[crazydave]

Builder?

[crazydave]

Are you asking what I do, or where Im from?Who you are. We have a lot of imposters.

[voyergirl]

Who you are. We have a lot of imposters.
:roflmao:

[crazydave]

Well im not going to put my name on the BB. I just moved here about a month ago. I am me. I came across this site a few weeks ago when doing a search on charlotte. Im 100% you dont know me, since I have no clue who you are. Im sure that ive never seen you unless you tried to wash my window for loose change.Then we have met.

[voyergirl]

spit shine

[crazydave]

spit shineIt wasn't spit :handjob:

[voyergirl]

It wasn't spit :handjob:
:D

[voyergirl]

Is that why you licked it off the window

maybe it is builder, he likes you too davey

[voyergirl]

Someone told me there was a new sex tape of builder and dave, is that true?
no, the tape is builder and davew not crazydave. they builder and davew) got it on while waterbound.

[voyergirl]

neverneverland?

is your name michael?

you like monkeys? i bet they remind you of hairy little boys.........wanna play rubba rubba in the basement?