What's your Super Bowl prediction?

Panthers and?

 

Patriots....






















Sitting at home on that day.

 

49ers vs. Patriots.

 

49ers aren't going to the playoffs this year. That defense is a mess.

 

Packers and Broncos

 

You're high! Most of them have yet to play in the preseason. They'll be just fine.

 

No Bowman, and you won't have Aldon Smith for a while. You're fucked. Jeff Fisher is going to rub his dirty moustache into all of your wives cun ts.

 

The NFC West is stacked. The conference champion might boast a 9-7 record and go to the SB.

 

NFL Regression Party! Which Teams Will Disappoint Us This Year? «

Carolina Panthers

They Might Regress: This hurts my heart. No team in football was more fun to root for last season than the Panthers. Between Cam, Steve Smith, Mike Tolbert, Ron Rivera’s transformation into Riverboat Ron, Luke Kuechly, Greg Hardy, and the whole wrecking crew on defense … it was all great. Since then, two things have happened.
First, Panthers GM Dave Gettleman cut Steve Smith. For the record, I know Dave Gettleman’s name only because he was the GM dumb enough to cut Steve Smith. He’s famous now. Regardless of what you think of aging wide receivers, it was just a terrible decision from a karma standpoint. They’re destined to fail now. They also didn’t sign any receivers to replace him (Jason Avant and Jerricho Cotchery do not count), which seems unwise, considering the Panthers’ offense had trouble scoring even with Smith around last year.
That’s before you consider the rest of NFC South — the Saints will be as good or better, the Falcons and Bucs should be much better than last year — that will wear them down week to week. So, let’s see. This team shocked everyone by winning a bunch of close games last year, got worse this summer, and now it has a tough schedule that’s extra brutal in October and November. Of course the Panthers are going to crash back to earth, while the whole world asks, What’s Wrong With Cam Newton.
The second thing that happened was Greg Hardy involved in this domestic-violence incident that sounds so horrifying, it almost feels like a parody of NFL offseason news. So that’s cool.
Also, here’s the obligatory shot of owner Jerry Richardson looking like a cartoon of an evil rich guy:

Feel bad for the death of the feel-good Panthers, but don’t feel too bad.


They Might Not Regress? Maybe this will all unite the locker room. Maybe the defense is still good enough to carry them. Maybe rookie wideout Kelvin Benjamin will just eat defensive backs and catch 18 touchdowns from Cam Newton. Panthers against the world? Maybe Ron Rivera’s much smarter than you think and the NFC South’s not as good as you think. But probably not.


Regression Probability on a Scale of 1 to 10: 9. Blame Gettleman.

 

Fat fuck was all set up for everyone to remain pissed at Hurney, couldn't leave it alone.